(opening with first few bars of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame")

The Whiz Kids have won it.
Just like last year, they've done it.
And Yogi knows "It's over" for the Mets.
Jimmy Rollins, he was scorin'.
Philly baseball isn't borin'.
Up the Turnpike, Met fans have lots of regrets.

Because they're Met fans.
Of Beltran, Wright and Reyes.
Yeah, they're Met fans.
Postseason plans, hiatus.
Booing from the stands, a big rebuke.
And any time their team wins, it's a fluke.
And the Phillies
and Yankees make 'em puke.

Well, Torre was winning.
Girardi's now beginning.
See Robbie hit one out, A-Rod trots in.
Kiner's malaprops.
Luis Castillo's drops.
And at Citi Field, they even lose to Washington!

Because they're Met fans.
Of K-Rod and Santana.
Yeah, they're Met fans.
They're all going bananas.
Each one of them, a nitwit or a mook.
To root for this team, you would be a kook.
And the Phillies
and Yankees make 'em puke.

Now, I may be a bachelor.
But so is Jeter, Kalamazoo Kid.
And CC Sabathia, he's throwin' heat right at ya.
And Mariano puts 'em in a haze.
These are the good old days!

Well now, here's the Series.
It's Yanks and Phillies, dearies.
On Wednesday night, The Bronx will host Game 1.
No more games at the Vet.
The Phils' new park? You bet.
And Obama's laughing at the Mets in Washington!

So look here, Met fans:
It's Utley vs. Pettitte!
Tough luck, Met fans:
You people still don't get it!
No orange, but there's stripes of red and blue.
Thank God, no Boston, Papi, Tek or Youk!
Met fans, the Phillies...
and Yankees make 'em puke!

Phillies... and Yankees make 'em puke!
(A-Rod, A-Rod, A-Rod)
Yeah, the Phillies... and Yankees make 'em puke!
(Howard, Howard, Howard)
It's the Phillies... and Yankees make 'em puke!
(Hip-hip, hip-hip, Jorge!)
Yeah, the Phillies... and Yankees make 'em puke!
(Raul, Raul, Raul)
I'm talkin' Phillies... and Yankees make 'em puke!
(repeat 'til fade)