Winter's here, rain day and night
Warm hot bath, clothes out to dry
But you moved them in without letting me know.
So I went out.
Locked out
By who?
"Course it was you.

All the world screams and hides on this cold winter night
When I'm running around naked in the dark
My cold butt is bare, giving children a scare
As I'm running around naked in the dark

When they see me coming the birdies all try and hide
But I still think for the rest of their lives they'll be traumatized

I hope you have fun as I'm bashed by kids mums
As I'm running around naked in the dark

It's freezing it's half past three, streetlamps mean that all can see
Our society will never be the same
I've gained much notoriety and caused much anxiety
To Granny Cranny* who lives down the lane
I think she's just called the cops on me
And her neighbour just set her pit bull on me

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy
To be running around naked in the dark
Not that I'd care but I'm definitely scared
Thinking of Dubya** running naked in the dark

I think either way I'm going to need therapy
"Specially if Mrs Brandpower* carries out her threat of joining me

So please unlock the door for the sake of us all
I'm sure we're all thinking
That this breaks all religions
When I'm running around naked in the dark