That's not my signature, it ain't close, you've been foiled
Someone's tryna bankrupt me, it's givin' you excess toil
I didn't order this shit like this diamond-tipped drill
Or these six crates of salmon or those six crates of quills
That's not my signature, not the way that I write
I swear it, bud, and I can prove it outright
Show you my signature and then you can piss off
Don't mean to speak coldly but I don't want this trough
Someone's bein' a jagoff orderin' all these cars
I'm so peeved, I've got half a mind to kick his sneaky arse
But, yes, my signature, did say I would show
What mine is like, so I'll get a bi-iro, yeah

Once my real signature shows the one there to be false
I'll go find which little ass-face is exactly at fault
And what did you say there, pally? "It's already been paid for"?
That explains why my card was declined for that Mars bar just before
Seems like my signature? That's my name there, all right
Dude's got the spellin' right, that I won't deny
But here's my signature, the flowin' biro
Looks like a spider got drunk like a ho-obo
And walked across the "sign here" part, it's a squiggle, that's the truth
It proves you've got a forgery, cause the scribble you've got, dude
Is not my signature, it's too neatly transcribed
It's just too far from mine, now pack up the piles of shi-it
Move it