-> "Stuck in a Video Game Nightmare"
Original Song Title:
"Chasing Shadows"
Parody Song Title:
"Stuck in a Video Game Nightmare"
The Lyrics
(Jesse digs through the NES games all the way to “Nightmare From Hell”)
***Jesse***:
That’s strange. I don’t remember buying this game.
(Jesse plugs the Nightmare game into the NES console and turns it on. Then the 1st question pops up.)
***Strange Game Voice***:
Are you over 21? A. Yes, B. No, or C. What do you think, shithead?
(Jesse chooses C, and the 2nd question pops up)
***Strange Game Voice***:
Are you a virgin? A. Yes, B. No, or C. What the f**k do I know?
(Jesse chooses C, and the 3rd and final question pops up)
***Strange Game Voice***:
Final question: What did you eat for dinner? A. Gefilte B. Spicy Indian food C. Just let me play the goddamn game already!
(Jesse chooses C, and sees Freddy’s face appear on the TV screen)
***Freddy***:
Surprise, Jesse! Freddy’s back again! I challenge you to a game against me! Hahahahahaha!
(Jesse gets sucked into the game and all the other NES games get sucked and crammed into the Nightmare game. Levels from the various classic NES games are mixed and hacked in the Nightmare game. Freddy appears in front of the TV with the NES controller)
***Freddy***:
Let the Nightmare game begin!
(The music begins. Then, Jesse starts singing while beginning to fight against Freddy’s character in the Nightmare game)
***Jesse (Dressed as Link fighting against a palace boss hacked as Freddy at a Palace in Zelda II: The Adventures of Link)***:
Stuck in Nintendo
I have to fight
Against Freddy
In this bad game tonight
All of those levels
They’re hard to beat
In this Nightmare game
Right here on Elm Street
Oh, it’s right here on Elm Street
(Jesse wins against Freddy in Zelda II, and ends up in Mega Man 2)
***Jesse (Dressed as Mega Man fighting against Dr Wily hacked as Freddy flying Dr. Wily’s spaceship)***:
This is a big game
I must win tonight
But if I lose,
I will be dead tonight
During the levels,
I’ll fight my fears
Before that Krueger
Slashes off my two ears
(Jesse wins against Freddy in Mega Man 2, and ends up in Double Dragon)
***Jesse (Dressed as Billy Lee trying to knock Abobo hacked as Freddy off the conveyor belt in Double Dragon)***:
(Beating levels)
All those levels aren’t easy
(Beating levels)
But soon, I will break free
(Beating levels)
In this Nintendo game from hell
(Beating levels)
They’re so f**king hard, I can tell
Can tell
(Jesse knocks Freddy off the conveyor belt in Double Dragon, and ends up in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Arcade Game)
***Jesse (Dressed as a Ninja Turtle fighting against the Shredder hacked as Freddy in the Technodrome)***:
The difficulty
Is high in this game
I’m fighting Freddy
It’s so damn lame
Freddy Krueger
Will not drive me near
The big point of death
But soon, this game will clear
(Jesse wins against Freddy in TMNT II, and ends up in Contra)
***Jesse (Dressed as a soldier shooting against Freddy’s alien-like head and long neck in Contra):
(Beating levels)
They are a big waste of time
(Beating levels)
Every stage I climb
(Beating levels)
I’ll win this Nightmare game tonight
(Beating levels)
That Freddy Krueger is a fright
A fright
(Jesse wins against Freddy in Contra, and ends up in Balloon Fight)
***Jesse (Flying on balloons while fighting against Freddy flying on balloons)***:
Terror of the night
(Jesse shoots all of Freddy’s balloons, and Freddy falls into the ocean. Then, Jesse ends up in Pro Wrestling (NES game))
(While the middle music plays, Jesse teams up with Hulk Hogan to fight against Freddy and Jason in the wrestling ring. Jason stabs Hulk Hogan in the shoulder, and Hulk Hogan throws a bucket of water on Jason. Then, Jason turns into a little boy, and Hulk Hogan stomps Jason’s head off. Hulk Hogan removes the machete from his wound and passes the machete to Jesse. Freddy stabs Hulk Hogan in the back with the knifed glove, and Jesse gets pissed off. Jesse lifts up the machete and says “You killed my partner! Prepare to die!” As Jesse fights against Freddy, Jesse cuts Freddy’s hand with the glove off with the machete. Then, Jesse cuts Freddy’s head (head of Freddy’s game sprite that is) off. After that, Freddy in the living room shouts “HAHAHA! You may have won this time, but the game isn’t over yet!” Finally, Jesse transports from Pro Wrestling to Super Mario Bros. 3)
***Jesse (Fighting against Bowser hacked as Freddy in the Bowser boss level in Mario 3)***:
It seems that Freddy
Is wasting my time
That evil man
Will pay for his crime
And I can beat him
Even if he’s near
The point of making
Me fall of the edge here
(Jesse sees Freddy fall to the ground after slashing through the bricks in Mario 3, and Jesse ends up in Punch-Out)
***Jesse (Dressed as Little Mac fighting against the Great Tiger hacked as Freddy)***:
(Beating levels)
I’m fighting against Freddy
(Beating levels)
But soon I will break free
(Beating levels)
But I’ll be the winner tonight
(Beating levels)
Freddy Krueger will lose tonight
Tonight
(Jesse knocks Freddy out, and Freddy becomes Super Freddy, which really is a hacked version of Super Macho Man)
(Beating levels)
Those levels sure are a bitch
(Beating levels)
But I will not be ditched
(Beating levels)
But soon I will break out tonight
(Beating levels)
Right out of this TV tonight
(Freddy knocks Jesse out. Then, Jesse takes steroids and becomes a super strong demon boxer)
(Beating levels)
I am gonna win against Freddy
(Beating levels)
And I will soon break free
Out of here tonight
(Super strong Jesse does a Mortal Kombat-like fatality to Super Freddy by ripping Freddy’s heart out. The TV blows up and Jesse breaks out of the TV, as the music ends)
***Jesse***:
Game’s over, Krueger!
***Freddy***:
You may have won this time, Jesse! But I’ll be back for you, later! HAHAHAHAHA!
(Freddy vanishes like smoke in front of Jesse, and Jesse wakes up on the bed the next morning in a neighbor’s house)
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Voting Results
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