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Song Parodies -> "At the Pearl' Gates - In Row"
Original Song Title:
"Happy Birthday"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Weird Al Yankovic
Parody Song Title:
"At the Pearl' Gates - In Row"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
This one's for the current round of ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge, this time hosted again by our very own belated birthday boy Matthias. (You too can be a host and help us save Amiright, or for starters simply join a round for your own fun - details are to be found under "Amiright Events" on the front page).
A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, the time's here, I can see the Pearl' Gates, it happened as I feared
I choked upon a broccoli I couldn't clear with beer
As kid I kicked some puppies and were fuzzy with my eats
A million candy wrappers I left littering the streets
My daddy took one look at me and signed up for the corps
My mama had those nervous breakdowns from me back and forth
The garbage man turned stalker, our house was like a sty
I knew I wouldn't be on Heaven's short list when I died
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, with a mobster batting average that never hit the fritz
I kinda know Saint Peter's gonna send me to the pits
The monkey spanking teenage years' an albatross of course
Headmistresses could weigh in, but they never found a corpse
Gonna take an extraordinary hail Mary for me
I'm gonna be in hotter flames than all of World War III
There's no one that can help me, sulphur I can smell
And ablebodied lawyers they all work for Hell
(As the cops on take - I'm doomed, OK?)
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, there's my record for The Mighty and I cannot cook the book
There's the Devil down there waiting if I can't get off the hook
Add my Tinder online status and my social media feed
Hope the gatekeeper here's not hacked into old Zuckerberg indeed
My one chance: If the crucible is like The Hunger Games
I'll hit the other scoundrels with eternities of flames
But as I'm drawing nearer all the souls here near me take
Blowhardened selfies - and I know I'm baked
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - It Blows!
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - It Blows!
(At the Pearl' Gates)
Damn - My ticket's six-six-six!
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, the time's here, I can see the Pearl' Gates, it happened as I feared
I choked upon a broccoli I couldn't clear with beer
As kid I kicked some puppies and were fuzzy with my eats
A million candy wrappers I left littering the streets
My daddy took one look at me and signed up for the corps
My mama had those nervous breakdowns from me back and forth
The garbage man turned stalker, our house was like a sty
I knew I wouldn't be on Heaven's short list when I died
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, with a mobster batting average that never hit the fritz
I kinda know Saint Peter's gonna send me to the pits
The monkey spanking teenage years' an albatross of course
Headmistresses could weigh in, but they never found a corpse
Gonna take an extraordinary hail Mary for me
I'm gonna be in hotter flames than all of World War III
There's no one that can help me, sulphur I can smell
And ablebodied lawyers they all work for Hell
(As the cops on take - I'm doomed, OK?)
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
Well, there's my record for The Mighty and I cannot cook the book
There's the Devil down there waiting if I can't get off the hook
Add my Tinder online status and my social media feed
Hope the gatekeeper here's not hacked into old Zuckerberg indeed
My one chance: If the crucible is like The Hunger Games
I'll hit the other scoundrels with eternities of flames
But as I'm drawing nearer all the souls here near me take
Blowhardened selfies - and I know I'm baked
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - It Blows!
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - In Row
At the Pearl' Gates
At the Pearl' Gates - It Blows!
(At the Pearl' Gates)
Damn - My ticket's six-six-six!
© Peter Andersson.
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User Comments
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This told a great story about a guy who lived a terrible life and is on his slow decent into Hell. I was hoping that the ending would have led him trying to weasel his way into Heaven but I guess this guy already accepted his fate. Funny stuff but dark!
I was hoping for a twist ending too, but eh what the hey. There's always Purgatory, give or take 1000 years.
There is a somewhat opaque optional twist ending - but you have to choose to interpret "and I know I'm baked" as the guy being high as eff (possibly from too many birthday doobies, he-he).
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