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Song Parodies -> "The Lament of Twila Paris (I Lost to Amy Grant)"
Original Song Title:
"I Lost on Jeopardy"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Weird Al Yankovic
Parody Song Title:
"The Lament of Twila Paris (I Lost to Amy Grant)"
Parody Written by:
Edward Genereux
The Lyrics
I myself prefer Twila Paris to Amy Grant; Paris has been in Grant's shadow for her entire career. Sandi Patty is also unacceptable in my sight. This song refers to the Dove Awards of the Gospel Music Association.
Prologue:
Host: Now we bring the finalists for Female Vocalist of the Year: Ms. Sandi Patty of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Mrs. Amy Grant of Nashville, Tennessee and Mrs. Twila Paris of Fayetteville, Arkansas LIVE at the 32nd Annual Dove Awards!!!
Stanza I.
I was there to prove my music wits
Right there on ABC
‘Gainst Sandi Patty, and there was Amy Grant,
Who sat right next to me!
I was small, I was ill-known;
I guess it just wasn’t my year!
I watched as they gave the trophies,
Ah! but my name I never could quite hear!
Refrain.
I lost to Amy Grant, Lord God! (2x)
Stanza II.
When it came time to get my own award,
I hoped that I would win!
But no! that thug by name of Amy Grant
Just robbed me of my spin!
And Sandi Patty also won there;
For me, there was nothing to get!
Well, I’m out of here, you half-wits;
Just tell me who just on me did bet!
(Refrain)
Bridge.
Host: That’s right, Mrs. Paris—you lost! and let me tell you what you didn’t win: a new contract with Sparrow Records, a #1 ranking among gospel artists and the Encyclopedia of American Gospel Music! But that’s not all! you also made yourself look like a jerk to gospel fans, tarnished the name of Ecclesia College for generations to come! You don’t get to come back next year; you don’t even get any second-place prize! You are a complete unknown!
Twila: I don’t know what I will do now,
I guess I really did bog down;
Well, I sure hope I do better
When Triumph comes my way to town!
(Refrain, except “I lost to Amy Grant” is thrice repeated)
Host: Now we bring the finalists for Female Vocalist of the Year: Ms. Sandi Patty of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, Mrs. Amy Grant of Nashville, Tennessee and Mrs. Twila Paris of Fayetteville, Arkansas LIVE at the 32nd Annual Dove Awards!!!
Stanza I.
I was there to prove my music wits
Right there on ABC
‘Gainst Sandi Patty, and there was Amy Grant,
Who sat right next to me!
I was small, I was ill-known;
I guess it just wasn’t my year!
I watched as they gave the trophies,
Ah! but my name I never could quite hear!
Refrain.
I lost to Amy Grant, Lord God! (2x)
Stanza II.
When it came time to get my own award,
I hoped that I would win!
But no! that thug by name of Amy Grant
Just robbed me of my spin!
And Sandi Patty also won there;
For me, there was nothing to get!
Well, I’m out of here, you half-wits;
Just tell me who just on me did bet!
(Refrain)
Bridge.
Host: That’s right, Mrs. Paris—you lost! and let me tell you what you didn’t win: a new contract with Sparrow Records, a #1 ranking among gospel artists and the Encyclopedia of American Gospel Music! But that’s not all! you also made yourself look like a jerk to gospel fans, tarnished the name of Ecclesia College for generations to come! You don’t get to come back next year; you don’t even get any second-place prize! You are a complete unknown!
Twila: I don’t know what I will do now,
I guess I really did bog down;
Well, I sure hope I do better
When Triumph comes my way to town!
(Refrain, except “I lost to Amy Grant” is thrice repeated)
Twila's allies against Amy Grant include Point of Grace and Casting Crowns...
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User Comments
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Yeah, awards should be given out based on the quality of the music, not based on fame. By the way, the original song is "Jeopardy" by the Greg Kihn Band. Also, here's 555 trophies & a Dylan Baranski Award for "Best Parody of the Day"
I just didn't find it funny doing this parody of Twila.
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