Covid!
Dodgeball!

We try avoiding it
Like a kid dodging household jobs
And man, I'm glad my wife
Is an expert on polished knobs

Wuhan released Covid
And that flu's gonna put us in graves
This is more than Netflix-chill on the couch
You'd better hole up in a cave

It's all so vexing
You can't fight it, even sight it
When you're fetching
Ammo and TP

Covid's a dodgeball sport
You gotta stay inside
If you don't they say you'll die
So just scram!

Covid's a dodgeball sport
You gotta hide away
If you want another day
An' wash your hands! Damn!

It's time to be regressive
Have your swingers party friends removed
Dogs stay in quarantines
'Til the government finds a cure

(SPOKEN, FROM SIX FEET APART):
-What if they don't find a cure?
-You'll need stay a few years therein!
-Damn, that is way too long!
-I know, it feels like a loony bin!

With minor coughing
Pitter-patter turns to scatter
We're all scoffing
-Dude, get quarantined!

Covid's a dodgeball sport
Behind a mask you'd hide
Pray you get one 'fore yuletide
Or just scram!

Covid's a dodgeball sport
You see a bat, you spray
If you can't, just run away
Then wash hands! Damn!

(SHOUTED, FROM SIXTY FEET AWAY):
-Ahoy!
-Man, don't you dare come over!
-Boy, we don't need your sad sack!
-Jam-packed in here!

With kids and in-laws
You can't shank them, maybe tranq them
Without just cause
You're not breaking free

Dodgeball!

Covid's a dodgeball sport
Your house is true and tried
Better than the other side
So just scram!

Covid's a dodgeball sport
For human Groundhog Day
Turn around and hit the hay
But wash your hands!

Repeat Chorus Ad Mortem