Lean Cuisine, the TV said
Was going to help you shed some weight
But not when every day for lunch
You scarf down six or maybe eight
Chocolate was an all-day snack
Your favorite one, it seems
You chomped good-bye to that apple pie
And a bucket of ice cream

Pauncho was a bulbous boy
His fork and spoon of stainless steel
His belly hung outside his pants
An old tee-shirt could not conceal
When pizza he desired to eat
Domino's would send its fleet
Delivery cars would block the street
Right outside his home

The All-That-You-Can-Eat Buffet
Feared he'd show up any day
They packed their grill and they moved away
Now the window sign reads "CLOSED"

Leftover scraps were mighty few
He'd gobble down too fast to chew
Half the biscuits baked down south
Ended up in Pauncho's mouth
What finally laid poor Pauncho low?
A couple cans of cookie dough
At least that's what the X-rays show
The lids still on, Oh no!

All the paramedics say
They couldn't save him anyway
He gasped his final breath that day
And then just dropped and rolled

The cemetery put him down
It took the biggest crane in town
The beer is warm, the brats gone cold
And Pauncho won't be growing old
He used to eat a ham or two
And saved some room for cupcakes, too
Couple jugs of Mountain Dew
And now, he's growing mold

The cardiologists would say
It usually happens just that way
He's was eating toward the Judgment Day
And now, the bell has tolled

All the dieticians say
He was bound to pop some day
Said "Pass the grits!" then he passed away
And now, the bell has tolled