I eat beans in the morning, I eat beans at night
I've found I nearly achieve orgasm when beans are in my sight
I'm a normal guy, I want you to know
But if I'm feeling playful I'll put beans between my toes
And I just can't help it - I always make a mess
It doesn't take a scientist to tell that I've got gas
I like their taste and I like their smell
I'm a beaner with an attitude
Don't need a doctor's help

In the stall down the hall
Spinning wool in Nepal
In a brawl with Saint Paul
Everywhere, I'm the guy they call Bean Freak
I am a bean freak
Bean freak
They call me Bean Freak

I always know what I want to eat
It's a simple but effective lifelong food philosophy
I've eaten crumpets and I've drunk tea
But there's nothing in the world that can beat an adzuki
And there's always someone who thinks my life is crass
I flip them off and then they're shocked
But what are they shocked at?
I get high when I eat my beans
Pintos, lentils, limas - I've been beaning since my teens

In the stall down the hall
Spinning wool in Nepal
In a brawl with Saint Paul
I'm the guy they call Bean Freak
What's my name?
Bean Freak
I am a bean freak
I'm such a bean freak
Breakfast, lunch or dinner
I'm a bean freak
The one and only Bean Freak
They call me Bean Freak
Bean Freak
What's my name?

Bean Freak!