A burgundy Volvo that can do one-three-eight
Cruising at sixty-five on a clear carriageway
It's a 4x4 being used for the run to Safeway
It's someone in the middle lane who won't make way
Isn't it moronic... don't you think?

(chorus)
It's like sun when you're drop top's away
It's the car park barrier up when you've already paid
It's the Ferrari test drive you just didn't take
Who would have thought... it figures

Mr Numpty Driver thought Lane 1 wasn't worth a try
He popped in a Werther and turned the Folk music high
He stuck at sixty in the middle lane at night
And as a dozen cars undertook him he thought
"Well, that can't be right." And isn't it moronic... don't you think?
(repeat chorus)

Well, life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think staying in the middle lane is your God given right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everyone's a chimp and every other motorist gets
On your tits

Fog lights on when it's a nice sunny day
Hazards going when there's a free parking bay
It's like 10,000 ricers when all they need is a life
It's like winning a brand new Porsche
And finding the Cayenne box ticked by your wife
And isn't it moronic... don't you think
A little too moronic.. and yeah I really do think...
(repeat chorus)

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
And life has a funny way of helping you out
Helping you out