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Song Parodies -> "Stuck on Your Sword"
Original Song Title:
"Part of Your World"
Original Performer:
Alan Menken (The Little Mermaid)
Parody Song Title:
"Stuck on Your Sword"
Parody Written by:
EmiLoca
The Lyrics
We're reading the Illiad in our English class and, for a project, my group has turned it into a series of musical monologues. This one is for Paris, who tells the true story of...himself...in a song that only a genuinely pretty boy could pull off.
Look at this buff
Man in the street
Wouldn't you think he'd be hard to defeat?
Shame I'm in love with a girl
The girl I stole from the King
Soldiers from Troy
Priests with bad breath
All expect me to avenge Hector's death
Watching Achilles, I think -
"Sword...geez, that's gonna sting!"
Oh Gods! Hermes, Apollo, please help me!
Don't want bruises or bloodstains or gore
(I want peace in a box...
Love aplenty!)
I'm so scared
It's surreal
Ten-year war...
I'm just a prince with a beauty mark
I run and flee
From each skirted prancer
Walkin' around with those...
(What do you call 'em?) Oh - shields.
Flippin' my hair, I can't risk a scar
Brains? Uninspired while watching lancin'
Aiming my bow at his...
(Vision's blurred again...)...feet!
Crap, I'm no jock!
Crap, it's begun!
Crap, in the fray, all slain, everyone
Oh, Achilles...
Don't wanna be
Stuck on your sword
What can I give
So I can live?
(Yes, I'm a coward)
Why can't I stay
Out of the fray
Safe in the stands?
But I'm a man -
(Cross-dressing's banned)
Cover blown - I'm not Priam's daughter
Scary, thrilling
Now blood's spilling
Red on my hand...
And red on my toes - crap, a bloody nose!
Sinus congestion,
Lymphatic cancer!
Hypochondriac, frightened git
(Run? Flee? Turn?) Sure!
Splendid - Troy burns!
Death, as I'm shoved
Legends of courage (or lack thereof)...
Legend of me
Bent down to pee -
Fell on my sword.
Man in the street
Wouldn't you think he'd be hard to defeat?
Shame I'm in love with a girl
The girl I stole from the King
Soldiers from Troy
Priests with bad breath
All expect me to avenge Hector's death
Watching Achilles, I think -
"Sword...geez, that's gonna sting!"
Oh Gods! Hermes, Apollo, please help me!
Don't want bruises or bloodstains or gore
(I want peace in a box...
Love aplenty!)
I'm so scared
It's surreal
Ten-year war...
I'm just a prince with a beauty mark
I run and flee
From each skirted prancer
Walkin' around with those...
(What do you call 'em?) Oh - shields.
Flippin' my hair, I can't risk a scar
Brains? Uninspired while watching lancin'
Aiming my bow at his...
(Vision's blurred again...)...feet!
Crap, I'm no jock!
Crap, it's begun!
Crap, in the fray, all slain, everyone
Oh, Achilles...
Don't wanna be
Stuck on your sword
What can I give
So I can live?
(Yes, I'm a coward)
Why can't I stay
Out of the fray
Safe in the stands?
But I'm a man -
(Cross-dressing's banned)
Cover blown - I'm not Priam's daughter
Scary, thrilling
Now blood's spilling
Red on my hand...
And red on my toes - crap, a bloody nose!
Sinus congestion,
Lymphatic cancer!
Hypochondriac, frightened git
(Run? Flee? Turn?) Sure!
Splendid - Troy burns!
Death, as I'm shoved
Legends of courage (or lack thereof)...
Legend of me
Bent down to pee -
Fell on my sword.
Your Vote & Comment Counts
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 31 | 31 | 30 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Welcome back, Emi!! This was the bees knees, btw....555
Nice one, Emi. Glad to see you back. 11th is a tough grade, you end up doing a lot more than just your basic school work. I know it felt excellent when I wrote a parody for a college class. Made all this seem practical.
DKTOS Emiloca, but a fantastic read. Those priests with bad breath can get really nasty sometimes - 555
Funny stuff, Emi! 5s...
And thanks to you, it's now "The Silliad" ! ;-)
You had me fooled there Emi, I though this was gonna tangent whatfreaks-material and be something rather nasty... ;-)
It's a classic!
Well, well, well, couldn't resist your parodying instincts, could you? Had to come crawling back for praise and glory, eh? And you had to completely overpower my measly school-related parody with your wit and skill, in the process! (Correct me if I'm wrong, I haven't seen the film, but Orlando Bloom is Paris, isn't he?...just a passing thought.)
Kristof - Thanksya!
2nz - Actually, I'm in 10th grade, but basic school work is definitely a thing of the past. Glad to have your support...
WonderBra - I know you didn't comment, but you, too, have been exceptionally supportive.
Stuart - Thanks for the comment, and glad you didn't include anything that went along the lines of "cheap rhyme"...
Arwen - Funny stuff? FUNNY STUFF?!?!
Okay.
Johnny D - *chortle*
K1chyd - *inspiration*
John Barry - *:-)*
JARLB - Why, yes, he is! *swoon* - and it's an awful movie, don't see it unless you're ready-baby-yeah to see the upper half of a naked Bloom. Not for the faint of heart.
2nz - Actually, I'm in 10th grade, but basic school work is definitely a thing of the past. Glad to have your support...
WonderBra - I know you didn't comment, but you, too, have been exceptionally supportive.
Stuart - Thanks for the comment, and glad you didn't include anything that went along the lines of "cheap rhyme"...
Arwen - Funny stuff? FUNNY STUFF?!?!
Okay.
Johnny D - *chortle*
K1chyd - *inspiration*
John Barry - *:-)*
JARLB - Why, yes, he is! *swoon* - and it's an awful movie, don't see it unless you're ready-baby-yeah to see the upper half of a naked Bloom. Not for the faint of heart.
I'll make sure I recharge my pacemaker's battery.
This is AWESOME Emi! I laughed from start to finish!!
Pity poor Paris,that "Poor Vnfortvnate Sovl " I give this III V's
The most fun I've had reading anything about the Illiad this year (freshman year, latin 1 H, BLEAAAHH)! V's all around!!
Her first time back to the plate and Emi hits a Homer.
Well done, Emi. I like your take on the Trojan War, particularly the "cross dressing's banned" line, which is ironic because, before the war started, Achilles' mother, Thetis, tried to keep him out of the Greek army by dressing him as a woman.
Emi this was incredibly funny but the last couple lines put this one over the top! Great work! 555
(SOTM) DKTOS. but must be good, judging from the comments.
Forgot to put this in my initial comment (SOTM) :)
Loved it.
(SOTM) It's been so long since I've heard this Disney song, but it came back quickly when I read this parody.
SOTM--I stand by my original comment...funny stuff, Emi...=)
(SOTM) I'm guessing you got an A+ on this one!
Superb, Emi. You know, you guys are making it really hard to choose a SOTM...
I was going to make a bad joke about hitting a Homer, but some idiot beat me to it over a month ago.
Excellent stuff. My favorite line this go-round is "(What do you call 'em?) Oh – shields." You're great.
Excellent stuff. My favorite line this go-round is "(What do you call 'em?) Oh – shields." You're great.
(SOTM) EmiLoca, witty, satirical and fun, all the makings of a classic! 5's
(SOTM) See above
(SOTM) already commented, but stacks up well the second reading, Emi
Have some --whattya call em? -- fives. Still can't believe you're only sixteen, when I was that age I was writing stupid fart parodies. Wait, I do that now...Anyway, FUNNY STUFF
Good grief, Emi, what were you on? Interesting! I have a policy never to get close enough to a priest to find out if they have bad breath!
(SOTM) DKTOS, but I love these lyrics!
Sorry it took so long to comment. I had to go back and read the Iliad to make sure I understood it. And being the idiot I am, I accidently read the Odyssey first! All that said, it was worth the effort.
(SOTM) Excellent work - even though I don't know the OS I'm going "5's" here since you have 23/23 "5's" on pace and the story here is outstanding.
superb stuff Emi really imaginative!!! )SOTM)
Hhehehe. I hope you guys are proud of yourselves. This is really funny. Don't hate Paris because I'm- I mean he is pretty. WRITE MORE PARODY SONGS!! I THINK YOUR TEACHER WOULD GIVE YOU EXTRA CREDIT!!!!
I loved it especially that last part. Very amusing. 5s al the way
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