TURTLE: (doing all parts - so to speak! ;)

Ma chere Madamoiselle, it is with widest eyes
And lustful pleasure that I will come; you, too, might.
Oh wow, it must bite you in the back
Let me unsnap it -- there!
As your fine bazoom pertly presents:
My dinner!

B's are best! B's are best!
They're the firmest kind of breast
Get that halter off your neck, cherry!
And I'll do all the rest
Virgin, pure?
Case of nerves?
But you own well-chiseled curve
Why, that "A" stuff:
It's nutritious
Please relieve me! Grant my wishes!
Ding-a-ling: doing dance
You willl miss, not, underpants
A clear winner here, I pass the "ass-id test"
Go on, uncross your arms, dear
Just one glance: alarms here!
B's are best!
You possess:
B's: best chest!

Double D's
Some gals own
Surgeon's "pudding": silicone
C's are fair; deserve a stare
An aereola e-rect: yay!
How they've grown
Lovely, bared
'Neath the blanket, are we paired
If you'll do me, I'm not feigning:
On my bat, there's purple-veining
You provoke: my tongue flicks
On your swollen nipples: licks

What a ball! It's such a waste --
-- If we don't pet
Give me your gift en masse
There's none that can surpass
With B's, you're blessed
Too compressed:
Too confining when you're dressed

E's: excessed! I confessed! I detest!
Sink to *her* knees 'stead of chest
Rather play with, any day:
My friend, Cat's "A": full of zest!
D's will spread! They will droop!
In one hand, you cannot scoop
Too much "meat" will misalign her!
They will grieve her with angina!
That much "pork"; no appeal
I''m abstaining from that deal!
Why, so many guys, so juven'lly obsessed?
They quake about some wh*re
And give her twenty more
An endless quest....

I don't jest!
I attest:
By firm chest, I'm impressed!
They're real, "live"; pass "pencil test" [1]
I get bored by giant gourd
I've had firm nips 'gainst lips, both, pressed
Wet T-shirt: works for me
Or, my dear, swim topless-ly
While your cups do their fine dewin'
I'll be wooin', I'll be cooin'
I could swarm on that dot
Feelin' aches 'n gettin' hot!
Eat it up! I love the nubble, not Mae West

I'm glad you never grew!
Nor t*t: huge lumps accrue
Let's get abreast!
Hope I've stressed
And expressed
My behest!
I detest "udder" mess; Pam: divest [2]

I find far more nerve ends
In a girl with smaller curve ends
Spread them all across a sprawl: sensation's gone [3]
Ah, those good old B's are each one mouthful
Suddenly, they're putting fakes thereon
Men cheer, and they're lusting
Needing so much more: disgusting!
As they exercise their shvantz on useless shills
Most guys want to play around and "rassle":
Flabby fat! They're crazy!
Been talked into values, hazy

They had best change soon lest -
-- Have a cardiac arrest
When appears there's only phony bodies here
How depressed!
Lacking zeal, only D's -
-- Do the deed, or them, can please
While those idiots: wads, blowing
On the chick: most cleavage showing
"Bea" and I: so much fun
'Til she shouts, "My muff is done!"
Then we'll snuggle close and sleep spooned, back-to-chest
All night, she's had her feet up
Not a cow, just B-cup
I've assessed
All the rest
I've possessed
Those B's are best!




[1] "Pencil test" - as referred to in the song linked at "A".

[2] Referring to Ms. Anderson's desicion to have her bazongerous implants removed and replaced by merely knockerous ones.

[3] TT's Theory of Taste, or Why Organic Produce Is More Nutritious And Small Breasts Are More Sensitive:
(go ahead, skip it -- I'll never know. ;)

A fruit or vegetable presumably has genetics in its seed providing for certain levels of nutrients. Artificial fertilizers and other measures designed to force growth beyond its natural size merely divvy up that amount of nutrients across a larger fruit or vegetable, resulting in a given quantity of said produce containing a lower level of nutrients. No wacky turtle here: simple lab tests consistently show that organically-grown produce is more nutritious, ounce for ounce or gram for gram.

By logical (?) extension, if the sensitive portion of the human breast contains, say, 100,000 nerve endings, then if those are all in an area, say, an inch or so across (~2,5 cm), there will be more of them affected by any given stimulation than if they are spread over an area two or three times as large (= four to nine times the area, since area grows as the square of diameter.)

For some strange reason, with all the stupid studies that our tax dollars fund, no one has conducted controlled studies of this. You'll just have to take the author's uncontrolled personal experience and word for it.

(Without neceasarily referring to personal knowledge, it's known that some women can have their gongs rung even while staying north of the Equator, if ya git my drift. And they tend to be the less-excessively endowed. Tommy Turtle: Defender Of Small Fenders!)