Gosh it disturbs me to see your films, Boll.
Free tickets still cost a lot
Not even Ed Wood can be you, Uwe Boll
Even if German or not

There’s no man half as Razzie worthy as you
You’re every mad critic’s bulls eye
Some people think that your effort is true
But it’s not hard to tell that’s a lie

No one’s flicks suck like Boll’s
Are nitpicked like Uwe Boll’s
No one gives a bad name to joysticks like Uwe Boll

For its known that “BloodRayne” sucked so badly
The game lost pros and gained cons
You can watch “Dark” “Dead” or, even worse, “Seed”
And the latter might leave you with straight-jackets on

No one’s hated like Boll
Overrated like Boll
Not one critic has been able to break Uwe Boll

AS DISPARAGEMENT FLOWS, I’M INTIMIDATING
I want to go kill Uwe Boll

SURVIVE HIS FILMS!
THEY’RE HELL, HIS FILMS!
Uwe Boll is the best at the worst in business

No one’s scripts blow like Boll’s
Inept grit matches Boll’s
In boxing critics, no one fights like Uwe Boll

But no really, don’t think of watching “Seed”
YOU’LL BE BLEMISHED BY JUST THE TRAILER
It makes films like “The Human Centipede”
Look good, maybe even Oscar caliber

No one’s cured less than Boll
Immature like Uwe Boll
No one exercises loophole tax write-offs like Boll
I THINK RETARDS OF PEOPLE LIKE ROTH OR CLOONEY, PHOEY!
And Bay, good call, Boll!

WHEN I WAS A LAD, ALL THE FILMS BASED ON GAMES
WERE SO BAD THAT THE INDUSTRY BURST
SO NOW THAT I’M GROWN, MY OWN FILMS BASED ON GAMES
TURNED OUT TO MAKE
THEIR KIND TEN TIMES
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOORSE!
Why? Why oh why? Why Uwe Boll?

“It’s
a lot of fun;
it’s over the top
action.”

No one directs like Boll
Disrespects wit like Boll
Tommy Wiseau’s Orson Welles compared to Uwe Boll
I USED ANIMAL ABUSE FOR “SEED”’S TITLE STRING
Sieg heil Film Hitler, Uwe Boll