Your Chelsea Loeber had got it on and on
About everything she's said and run
The voices of 88 years experience
She's stood back licking her arse

You know she's been around the world
Last night she went to Sligo in her musical Silverchair
A teardrop and a good spliff
Lol, she's just got back
There's music flying everywhere
Hey, hey, hey

Your Chelsea Loeber has got it on and on
We need her before she vanished last year
How could you leave me here so long with
Chelsea Loeber
Lol

Your Chelsea Loeber has got it on and on
About everything that's been and done
The voices of 90 years experience
She's stuck looking young at 23-ish

You know there's been a violent outburst
Between me and her on Facebook
You see her pulling pints
Lol
And pulling teeth
That's entertainment for everyone else
Lol, lol, lol

Your Chelsea Loeber has got it on and in
We need you here before you'll get away
How could you leave me here so slow with
Chelsea Loeber

Your Chelsea will tell me everything
She'll do if she was naked
But in a perfect world your mind can be
If she was a Page 3 model now
But that's daft

And she sees her adults drinking Viagra
Next minute they're be here kissing her ass
And you know Tori Amos
Lol
A bit bland
A bit bland for 'Professional Widow'

Your Chelsea Loeber has got it on and on
Don't be silly talking about her still
How could you leave me here so long with that Chelsea Loeber