You Can Torture Me,
With Laverne And Shirley,
You Can Air The Dick Van Dyke Show,
Or You Can Air A Block,
Like An Afternoon Game Show Block,
Or Any Buck Rogers Rerun You Know,
Air Some Miami Vice,
Hey, You Can Air It Twice,
And You Can Air Ads For Ding Dongs,
But TV Stations Please,
I'm Begging On My Knees,
I Just Can't Take No More Of Kidsongs,

Don't Air That Show
That Sucky Show,
Those Most Annoying Show I Know,
And If You Air That Show
That Sucky Show,
I Just Might Move To Colorado, Ooh

(Instrumental Break)

You Can Clear The Room,
By Airing Name That Tune,
And You Can Air Those Star Trek Reruns Till Dawn,
Or I Can Even Price Is Right On NBC,
Don't Mind A Barney Miller Marathon,
Air Some DTV,
On ABC Or NBC,
Or Scrape Your Fingernails Across The Board,
Or Tie Me To A Chair,
And Ship Me To Zaire,
But Please Don't Air That Stupid Show No More,

Don't Air That Show
That Sucky Sucky Shows,
You Know I Hate That Show A Bunch,
And If You Air That Show,
Those Nauseating Show,
It Just Might Make Me Lose My Lunch

(Instrumental Break)

Don't Air That Show
That Sucky Sucky Show,
I Think It's Driving Me Insane,
Please Don't Air That Show,
That Irritating Show,
I'd Rather Have A Quiet Lunch Up In Maine,

Don't Air That Show
That Sucky Sucky Show,
Those Most Annoying Show I Know,
And If You Air That Show
That Sucky Sucky Show,
I Just Might Move To Colorado, Ooh, Woo