My mechanic's cool, but sometimes he's a fool
He doesn't know an engine from a horn
I know he does his best, but sometimes he's a pest
He should be on the field and picking corn
I went the other day to fix a broken brake
He said he'd charge me fifty for the oil
I said I want no oil, my brake is in a toil
And then he wrapped it up in some tin foil

CHORUS
Don't fix my car
Who'er the hell you are
I just don't think you are the best
And if you fix my car
And mess it up with tar
I just might run you down with what is left

Give my Dodge a wash, don't care how much it costs
I just wanna know that it's okay
Don't tinker with my tires, you might set them on fire
And then you'll never see the light of day
My transmission has give out, now what's that all about
I have an oil leak that's dropping fast
My gas tank's all clogged up, my windshield's all fogged up
I wonder just how long this car will last

CHORUS