I’m a townie, hiking in the back of the fen
Came home, I saw bumps all red
So I called my doc up and said “I got bumps all red”
He said, “Oh”
And then he said, “Can you slap your hand and see ‘em come off ya?”
I said “Yeah, slap-oh…slap, oh…but it itches”
Being just a townie, I then was told
That if I go hiking in the forest I gotta go educate myself

C’mon, c’mon, yeah, c’mon
Got chiggers! What? Here’s a surprise
Little larva, it’s a chigger, microscopic size
All the chigger’s latchin’ on my bod, realize!
Die little small guy—no compromise
Everything the chigger touches itches like hives
So don’t be gypped, be sure you come with all your supplies
Don’t need a gun, use good sense and be wise
You trek out on a campsite, no matter tent size
Just watch out for chiggers, they’re coming to check y’all out
Drillin’ in your knee and your legs and all about
Lil’ baby mites in the Midwest and the South
Anyway you scratch, you’ll be a-groovin’
Scratching at the strong chiggers, here’s a rap for your schooling’
Don’t blame me all the chiggers the same
They don’t seek fame, play no games, don’t be like Rick James!

Got chiggers, it’s so tough
Scratchin’ some more
Got chiggers make me scratch it
Scratchin’ some more
Hey Dad, where’s the Deet at?
Scratchin’ some more
You know the chiggers hate that
Scratchin’ some more
Even though we’re washin’ best as we can
Scratchin’ some more
Getting scars on my chest ribs
Scratchin’ some more
Everybody spread salve
Scratchin’ some more
If you pop it, still that itch will stay
Scratchin’ some more

It’s not a rash, all in a dash, scratchin’ my ash
Sonny, it ain’t funny, like I’m wearin’ a cast
A restaurant, the chiggers put out the order
They eat you up, up from your legs and right to your hindquarters
Now lemme tell the news on how you pitched that there itch
Little mites, larval stage, chiggers give you the glitch
It’s when you pass through the glades or in the woods they can clasp you
Dig a little room in you and the chiggers they eat you
So say “Hi”, Trombiculidae! Not a nit
Know that the chiggers are in no way a tick
When they come ‘round those chiggers they do their own thing
Stick in skin and generate enzymes’ the thing
That causes your skin cells to flow, they ingest you
Eat you—yes, a chigger just wants skin tissue
Some may assume a chigger comes in and makes room
And seals his doom, hit it with a zoom in your bathroom!

(Chorus)

Yo those chiggers itch, know what I mean?
You can prevent by wearing wool socks, long pants and sleeves
And the chiggers don’t like to live in hot steam
Can see them better with a microscope beam
Yeah, the chiggers walking ‘round on the scene
They’re all bound for glory, chiggers in the green
Relieve, get reprieve with calamine cream
But it could take a week, all that in your bloodstream
Every time you’re scratchin’ you just spread it around
Don’t blow my top, don’t bring those blasted chiggers around
Here is my sound, hiking a mile and then I will frown
Oh no! It’s so freaky, they hit me, not my hound
These chiggers are itchin’ so much I start to wrestle the ground
Truly ain’t no doubt they used their natural spout
Off of my route, make all those chiggers fall out!

(Chorus)