I'm a young actress though not ready for a movie,
Came across a flop house that seemed kinda gloomy,
The wired gate said it was the Addams estate.

One foot stuck in a stair, another's getting tired,
Porch smells like 18 milks expired,
The Franken-doorman said I'm not too late.

The owners, one named Fester
They all were a-flustered,
We said they need a new Wednesday.

She got mature, no longer a remorseful creature,
She doesn't even have her mother, Morticia's feature,
Her past was...enough to make me snooze!

Chorus:
I'm the next Wednesday,
A new kid I have to portray,
& there's no going back I'm afraid.

No more teen Wednesday,
This one actually tries to disobey,
No "Yes, mother" today.
(And the guillotine blade drops out.)

My shorts are now hidden, but also poofy and starched,
Got some dangerous attitude in my newly-darkened heart,
Another foot in the grave
Both halves of chest smooshed.

Sanity dissipated, future smiles are faded,
My hair blackened, much longer and braided,
Now wait, I always had these looks,
So jest and your soul is bruised.

Chorus w/
My name should be Wednesday,
My stretched black nightshirt's back on display,
Degradation or getting slain.
(And the guillotine blade drops out.)

Why am I tall? It's unsatisfactory,
I'm shrinking down, I get to be gory,
No mentions as a young spaz, like never before.

Pugsley and I will make your subconscious plunder,
Whilst sending you six feet under,
Such a little snot, but I shan't got much to lose.

Chorus w/
I am Addams, Wednesday,
My dolls should be in disarray,
My fear needs to decay,
No acting from Wednesday.
(And the guillotine blade drops out.)

I know the predecessor disobeyed,
My past was in some terrifying plays,
My loved ones' hedge needs a solicitor buffet,
Because I know I am forever known as Miss Wednesday.
(And the guillotine blade drops out.)