-> "Publishers' paradise"
Original Song Title:
"Gangsters' Paradise"
(MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Publishers' paradise"
The Lyrics
As I push though the crowds on the Jubilee Line
I think to myself I must stop drinking all this wine
Cos my head is thumping and my eyes are all glazed
And my mouth is like the bottom of a parrot's cage
I stagger to my desk and I boot up my PC
just to find 200 emails all screamin at me
I down a triple expresso and try to concentrate
and then I start to check my diary - oh my God I'm running late
I've got to finish that budget for the Board - it's overdue
and do I have to sack that editor for snorting coke in the ladies loo?
and The phone keeps on ringing and rattling in my brain
Is this what I need after 2 hours in the train - huh ?
I've been spending most of my life
Workin in this publisher's paradise
repeat four times
It's starting to get to me, it's really very bad
if I don't do something drastic I think I'll wind up going mad
So I log on to the Internet and I start a random search
and then I hit on something that just knocks off my perch
an online casino,- spread betting and the rest
I think what have I got to lose and I take a wild guess
I buy a massive long position on England at the Test
and the projected life expectancy of good old Georgie Best
I sit there dreaming of how I'm going to spend my loot
thinking this could be the last time I ever wear a suit
I could sell up and buy a place on the beach - real paradise may be soon within my reach
tell me why are we too blind to see
that if we really try we can break free
dont wanna spend the rest of my life
working in this publisher's paradise (4 times)
'have you got those figures for the annual report?
A voice in the distance suddenly brings me up short
I have to think for a minute to try to clear my head
it feels as if my sanity is hanging by a thread
I manage to crunch some numbers and present them to the Board
then I dash back to check up on the action at Lords
At the end of the innings I can't believe my luck
England made a thousand and the Aussies all got ducks Hah!
wont have to spend the rest of my life working in a publisher's paradise (4 times)
tell em why are wee to blind to see if we really try we can break free.
After years of lotus eating I've a secret to confess
last week I caught myself reading the Daily Express*
I never thought I'd say this but surfing's rather boring
and you know that fabulous yacht I bought - it never leaves its moorings
all this lazing on the beach has done nothing for my figure
and I'm really up to here with shooting the breeze with lottery winners
Joni Mitchell got it right I think you know the song
you never appreciate what you've got until its gone
I miss my charming colleagues and their witty conversation
and that groovy little adrenaline buzz you get from publication
and God these endless barbecues are getting on my tits/really are the pits
I really feel like getting down and dirty at the Spitz*
I wanna spend the rest of my life working in this publisher's paradise(4 times)
and why are we too blind to see that our authors need really big royalties
end
Your Vote & Comment Counts
The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they
appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to
leave a comment below about this parody.
|
|
Voting Results
|
Pacing: | 4.6 | |
How Funny: | 4.4 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.4 | |
|
Total Votes: | 5 |
|
Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| | | | Pacing | | | How Funny | | | Overall Rating | |
| 1 | | 0 | |
| 0 | |
| 0 | |
|
| 2 | | 0 | |
| 0 | |
| 0 | |
|
| 3 | | 0 | |
| 0 | |
| 0 | |
|
| 4 | | 2 | |
| 3 | |
| 3 | |
|
| 5 | | 3 | |
| 2 | |
| 2 | |
|