Song Parodies -> "I'm Afraid of Rothlisberger"

Original Song Title:

"I'm Afraid of Americans"

Original Performer:

David Bowie

Parody Song Title:

"I'm Afraid of Rothlisberger"

Parody Written by:

RealFootball

The Lyrics

In 2012, longtime Colts QB Peyton Manning became a free agent. As a Browns fan at the time, I had hoped hard that he would join them and give them a boost if only for a few years - they had last made the playoffs in 2002. He joined the Broncos instead and I charged him with being too chicken to play in the same division as Ben Rothlisberger, referring to the quarterback of the Browns' rivals Pittsburgh Steelers. While Peyton achieved all sorts of stuff with Denver, the Browns finished last each year until he retired a champion - a title he should he brought to Cleveland (several months later, the Cleveland title drought did finally end when the Cavs won their first NBA Finals). I finally had enough the Browns ineptitude and left the fandom. I've been also a Packers fan for years, and now they are my sole NFL team.

Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh
Now I have a choice to make
The Broncos or the Browns
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh
But there is just one catch
Browns share division with Ben
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh
Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A

I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger

Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

Big Ben plays in Pitt
Big Ben he plays for the Steelers
I don't want play him twice
Rothlisberger's my biggest fear
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh
Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A
Uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh

I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger

Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A
Big Ben wears number 7
He is too good for me
I'm gonna play for the Broncos
Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A
uh-uh-uh uh, uh, uh-uh uh-uh-uh
Big Ben's in Pittsburgh, P-A

I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger

Yeah, I'm afraid of Rothlisberger
I'm afraid of Big Ben
I'm afraid I can't help it
I'm afraid I can't
I'm afraid of Rothlisberger

This song is American
This song is American
This song is American
This song is American
This song is American
This song is American
This song is American
This song is American

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Max Power - December 19, 2016 - Report this comment

The problem is the expansion team masquerading as the Browns however, they'll turn any QB into a bust since they only have one guy in the offensive line who didn't suck and his career is going to a waste. They would have turn Peyton's best into maybe Tim Couch's 2002 season if he's lucky. Manziel screwed himself over however...

calmelennie - December 20, 2016 - Report this comment

Maybe Manziel could get back into the NFL with a modified version of the temporary insanity plea -- Playing behind Cleveland's O-line turned me into a raging alchoholic

Callmelennie - December 20, 2016 - Report this comment

Calling any NFL quarterback "chicken" for refusing to play for the Browns is like calling a person a coward for refusing to beat his head against a wall of iron spikes. It just doesn't cut to the quick, know wadda mean?

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