The pastor looks down at you
Your pew of people leave
Heading for thee restrooms
With tear moistened eyes
They're staggering out
And breathe with sighs
And though the sermon's gone great
The smell's far more profound
Silent but deadly
It stinks like a herd of cows
It's time for you to go!
Your stinking behind draws flies

Something has...
Crawled up your ass and died
Better wipe your butt
I"m gonna loose my lunch
If you don't depart
I have run out of air
Go change your underwear
Oh why, did you have to fart?

Gas masks we can't provide
Time to leave - leave your pew
You need to be outside
My nostrils will never heal
My sinuses are fried
This all seems so unreal
And though I came close to death
Somewhere on down the line
I'll breath normally
Recovering with time
Now, time for you to go!
Your stinking behind ain"t kind

You smell like...
Dog crap putrified
Go and wash your duff
I just cannot stand your stench
You reek rather tart
I need to breathe fresh air
I'm glad you want to share
But why, did you have to fart?

Thanks to you the whole cho-ir gags
With collection plates as their barf bags
Their eyes go round
They looked so devout
Now they're like lotto balls popped out
You have to go!

So undignified
Inconsiderate
I'm sure no one likes your stank
I can't call you smart
I'll put you in my prayers
When the church finally airs
Oh why, did you have to fart?

Did you have to fart? (Or something)