(Oh! Oh! Harry Potter!)
(Oh! Oh! Harry Potter!)

I used to live in a closet
The Dursleys made me vomit
No Quidditch and no wild gang of centaurs
Life was sucky
But one day I got lucky see
When Dumbledore sent a letter for me
They shipped me down
And this huge school’s renowned
My frown rewound and a smile sprouts
I met Ron and Hermonie there on the train
The Hogwart’s Express is Insane!

Place full of whimsy! With giants and pixies!
Though Voldemort makes things a little risky!
But if you can’t deal with some near death- It can be pretty nifty!
In the Great Hall y’all
Some House Elves serve you whisky
And I recall feeling a little ‘Ginny’

There might be grime
And the ghosts are spooky
I’m woozy. Moaning Myrtle wants to do me
I’m sick. This miss is completely cracked
To a toilet she’s indigenous!
I thought she was a Boggart yelled “Riddikulus!!!”
Sometimes these spells sound like gibberish
Our teacher’s a cat!
McGonagall’s that ninny
We’re turning rats into cups because she’s ditzy!
Hear them squeak!
And potions is full of gloom
Cause Severus Snape likes no joy in his classroom

He’s snobby
He makes you want your mommy!
Unless you’re Slytherian he’ll be a Nazi!
The Half Blood Prince will help me pass
Alan Rickman’s stupid class!

The Hogwarts class is your chance to do the Hog!
Oh! Draco Malfoy!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! C’mon! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Oh! Oh! Ronald Weasley!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Start learning at this Hoggy-Warts!
Do you know where I’m learning?
I’m learning at the Hoggy-Warts!
Oh! Oh! Luna Lovegood!
At the Hoggy-Warts! Ah-Ha! At the Hoggy-Warts!

Hagrid says “Hey Harry, Come help me with my dragon!”
That he got from some unmarked wagon
Flames flare, I’m scared but Hagrid thinks this is a rare treat
Feeding Norbert hare meat
It gets much worse since our books are cursed with
Razor fangs that prefer witch

Oh yes, Kiddies, This school is really weird
There’s more than nasty pines in the Forbidden Forest frontier
Spiders are big, Aragog that one is named
We’re in a pickle since he wants us slain
And that ain’t all Kiddies. Like snakes that are large?
Chamber of Secrets has one of those in charge

Who needs humans? We’ve got a werewolf named Lupin
He teaches us Defense Against The Dark Arts, It’s proven!
He shows when Dementors strike the spell Patronus
And send them back to Azkaban as an added bonus!

So far you think this school’s tight?
And if you go buy a Nimbus you also can take flight
All of this you can learn in a Hogwarts class
I really think it’s quite a gas!

The Hogwarts class is your chance to do the Hog!
C’mon!
Oh! Screw you Muggles!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Uh! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Oh! Oh! Mad Eye Moody!
Every Wizard!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! C’mon! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Do you know where I’m learning?
I’m learning at the Hoggy-Warts!
Oh! Oh! Severus Snape!
At the Hoggy-Warts! He’s here at the Hoggy-Warts!

Ah-Yeah, School’s out y’all
Time to go chug some butter beer at Hogsmede
Oh yeah!
Now that I’ve told you a little bit about this school
Who wants to hear a little more about this class?
There’s so much more to tell… Listen up!

In the Tri-Wizard games, Guess whose name was chosen.
Cedric and Victor and Fleur Delacour who’s smokin’
And there’s of course me!
But we don’t do it for the glitz and glamour. We’re just crazy!
Being nuts is our school’s devotion
Especially that greasy-haired git in charge of potions
Watch out or you’ll be maimed
Wear the Sorting Hat, y’all, It will yell your aim!
Maybe Gryffindor if you are brave
Or try Slytherin if you’re a huge-ass pain
Fighting, casting, spelling
Forget Math and all that junk!
Because you’re in the World of Witchcraft and Wizardry, punk!
Keep your Drumstrang, I’ll going to Hog!

The Hogwarts class is your chance to do the Hog!
Every Wizard!
Oh! Lavender Brown!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Come down to Hoggy-Warts!
Stupid Dobby!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Three-Head Doggy!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! I’m learning, I’m learning, I’m learning…
Colin Creevey!
Learning at the Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!

Tom Riddle! Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Longbottom! Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Remus Lupin! Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Bellatrix! Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!

Oh yeah!

It’s Like Magic!

The Hogwarts class is your chance to do the Hog!
Every Wizard!
Oh! Whomping Willow!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Come down to Hoggy-Warts!
Pesky Owls!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!
Ron’s rat Scabbers!
Go to Hoggy-Warts! I’m learning, I’m learning, I’m learning…
Stupid Mudbloods!
Learning at the Hoggy-Warts! Go to Hoggy-Warts!

Welcome Muggles to our part of town!

Once again, This is Hogwart’s loud and proud!
I’d like to send a thank you to our Fanboys!
Keep reading those Rowling’s books
And to all the kiddies!
Check the mail for your letter!