(Jerry Springer's Guests Sing) We're In-Bred

(Jerry Springer:)

Hot damn, ladies and gents, it's from the deepest south and in-bred backwoods that our guests come from tonight. So now we're warning you to prepare, don't cough up a lung, as the Springer Show loudly presents: Our family!

{Papa and Mama, Uncle Ted, Bubba and his sister come on stage to raucous uproar}

(MAMA):

We're... in...bred
We're inbred
Our whole fam'ly shares a bed
My poor mother had three eyes and ears
Just like my Uncle Ted

(Uncle Ted)

Genes are pure,
That's fer sure
And just part of our allure
Though our gray stuff is delinquent
We're on Springer very frequent

(Bubba)

Where we fight,
And we curse
Damn and hell, shit, even worse
On a Springer even Satan fears to tread

(Papa)

My son just slapped his sister

(Mama)

Dropped his pants and kissed her

(Family chorus)

We're inbred
We're inbred
We're inbred

(Brother)

It's taboo
Me and she
But we live in Tennessee

(Sister)

Be prepared
To gawk and stare
At very scary oddities

(Mama)

Got five toes
On your hand?
Use your webbed feet like a fan?

We're quite moody and repulsive
But the urge is so compulsive

(Bubba)

People joke
That we're sick
'Cause my sister has a dick

(Sister)

But it never goes to waste
While we're in bed

(Papa)

Some people say we're crass
'Cause birthmarks on our ass
Say "We're In-bred"

(Sister)

I feel blessed
That my hiney may suggest

(Family chorus)

We're inbred
We're inbred
We're inbred

(Springer)

We so don't deserve it
But the ratings say "MORE PERVERTS!"
What's a show without some ho's to get it on?

Oh, those boring days when we were tasteful
Thankfully we now have pimps and johns

For years we've been trusting
Viewers like it more disgusting
We would surely drop our pants if it would thrill

Some days there's no way around the hassle
Crabby tattooed ladies...
And the show goes straight to Hades

(Family)

We're In-bred
We're in-bred

(Papa)

Every night I'm in the shed

Drink some "corn"
And watch some porn
Then climb a stump for "Missus Ed"

We will flirt
She'll want feed
Just like gals of every breed

But with chicks there's always fallout
In this case, it's 'clean her stall out'...

Flies will swarm
Crap it's hot
Wish she'd learn to use a pot

Give it up and head out to the still instead

I'll meet my cousin Sue
Maybe a hump or two
'Cause we're in-bred
We're inbred
We're inbred....

(Mama)

We're inbred, we're inbred
Laws demand that we not wed

(Papa)


We've been scorned
Since we've had sev'ral babies born
With extra heads

(Bubba)

Do not squeal
Don't be shocked
Those extra heads are in their jocks

(Sister)

And if handled right when growing
Keeps us ladies really glowing........

(Springer)

No..Re...Morse?

(Papa)

Not a one

(Sister)

Want to come and have some fun?

(Mama)

Would you join us as we slip off to our bed?

(Springer)

Afraid I won't go near that
'Cause you've made it clear that
You're In-Bred!

(Audience)

You're In-Bred
You're In-bred

JEEZZZ YOU'RE IN- BRED!!!
....................................