SOLO: “What the heck’s been happening?”
(Chewbacca grunts)
SOLO: “It seems I just can’t see”
(Chewbacca wails)
SOLO: “No really – who turned out the frickin’ lights?
And it feels cold to me”

The first words of our hero
When Leia thawed him out
And we can blame all those darned Imperials
Of that there is no doubt

Han was sealed in carbonite
Lit’rally stopped his heart
Jabba the Hutt displayed him on a wall
Like creepy modern art

But Jabba saw through Leia
And captured her as well
Her gold bikini gave him quite a horn
Thank god you couldn’t tell
Then Luke showed up to save them
Looked like the tide had turned
‘Cause he was always gonna hold a grudge
The moment that he learned…

Han was sealed in carbonite
A test that worked quite well
Though it looked weird, and reminiscent of
A chocolate bar from hell
Han was sealed in carbonite
But he aint chilled no more
Jabba stole the Solo’s woman and…
Dressed her like a whore

Now Han’s released from carbonite
It’ll come to pass
He won’t forget the ones who froze him out
And then he’ll kick their ass!