One, two, three then twenty-four
That's all the chunks of wood to nail to ev'ry door
That thing can't make an entrance to snack on us
Once it's closed, it's time to think 'bout stuff
Not really sure what we've learned about this monster that's comin'
Now that we've banded together, I'm sure we'll think of somethin'
Got worries 'bout the beast's fangs, baby
And other parts, let's not get crazy
Just one at a time, I'm not lazy
Explainable, I'll back up and retrace this (hell yeah)
Let's go back to the warnin' we had:
"A monster is a-comin', please don't let it bite your ass"
Limited-ass directive
Zero claw or tentacle tips so I've the need to play detective
A mystery, I'm always yearnin' for that, straight burnin' for that
Hypothesis confirmin'? Screw that
The only way to prove things now's "get bitten"
And I'm too proud of my wood-planks-over-windows positions (yeah)
So I'm feelin' to clear fear outta here
Well, let's all logic it out to persevere
If that thing wants to munch upon our variable butts
I think we should see if we can learn "why", that's fun

Is it this? Is it that? Is it this? Or, uh
Is it that? Is it this? Is it that? Or, uh
Is it this? Is it that? Is it this? Or, uh
Let's hope it's not stupid or random

Well, I'm thinkin' while I'm slinkin', yes, I'm slinkin'
I don't wanna make noise and get his close attention
But the first thought in my brain that's begun to swell
Is the snap of that jaw stabs you with pure hell
By that I mean poison never seen before
It makes your spleen fall out your ass, even more that's in store
Soon your gum line tastes like old limes when they drip
It's gross, not a joke, although I'm just guessin' this
Simply my supposition that it's drippin'
With mad poison or venom or toxin stored
Got no clue what it's called, dude
But that's just a beast theory of what it might do

Is it this? Is it that? Is it this? Or, uh
Is it that? Is it this? Is it that? Or, uh
Is it this? 'Cause no-one that's stuck in here knows
Can't check shit, goddamn net error codes
We're just spit-ballin' (ah)
Wonder why we'll die
Stuck here spit-ballin' (yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah)

If its spit isn't acid, I'm thinkin' it might just be
The lycanthropisin' type, it's that old "nasty werewolf" scene
If it snacks on your neck, your death ain't next, it's gonna soon be
We'll see double beasts, might be quadruple even, see
That's a real pest that I sure as heck won't like
'Cause I don't want anymore rips in these fav'rite pants of mine
Yeah, and the whole bit
Where I'd start runnin' loose and pass on the form to you twits (hell yeah)
Insane (not right, wrong)
That's what I think's goin' on (it could be)
It's why I really smell somethin' (hell yeah)
I call dibs on not washin' (wasn't me, not it)

New look on my face, had a realisation
Thinkin' 'bout this jaw problem, got inspiration
Maybe when we get bitten, the only thing that's gonna happen
Is that we'll bleed dry, it's not the Cookie Monster snappin'
I think we overthought that a bit, man
No matter what the size of this thing is, it will be bad
Just a little bit of a bite still will get infected
And if it's big enough, your whole self will be digested
This doesn't mean anyone should put hands down, shut their trap now
While "bites hurts" makes all the sense, could still be the wrong track now
Yeah, we should not stop
Because the more theories we've got, the more plans we'll concoct
Need to cover all friggin' contingencies to stop
Our buttocks becomin' lunch, I'm sure that nobody wants that
Puttin' our heads together
Hang on, do I feel a breeze? Right now, that's not good weather

Close this, that and this and a-
Should close that and close this and close that and a-
Should close this, which twit opened up a window?
That won't fix the damn net error codes
Not how that's workin' (ah)
Please don't let us die
Keep your brains workin' (yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Not how that's workin' (ah)
Please don't let us die
Keep your brains workin' (yeah-eah, yeah-eah-eah-eah)
Not how that's workin' (ah)
Please don't let us die
Keep your brains workin'