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Song Parodies -> "Good Bye Freddie Phelps"
Original Song Title:
"Candle In The Wind 1997"
Original Performer:
Elton John & Bernie Taupin
Parody Song Title:
"Good Bye Freddie Phelps"
Parody Written by:
Patrick McWilliams
The Lyrics
Based on a song performed by a verrry gay musician at the funeral of Princess Diana. This one deals with a man who came from "the other side of the moral spectrum"
Good-bye Freddie Phelps
A cancer grew in your heart
You stood to fan the fires of hate
When lives were torn apart
You vilified our country
And exploited peoples' pain
Now you burn in Hades
We'll no longer speak your name
And it seems to me that you lived your life
As a tyrant and fraud
Never tempering your message
Of a vengeful God
Soon your footsteps will be washed away
From Topeka's city streets
A hell-fire sentence waits for you
At Yahweh's judgement seat
Decency was tossed
Your words so outrageous and vile
A picket sign you carried
And a rod to beat your child
A wretched evil guy
Uncouth, inspiring fear
I lack the words to tell you
How sick I felt when you came near
And it seems to me that the life you lived
An example to ignore
Ever spewing forth your venom
Till you were no more
While the people you were condemning
Never fought back as they should
You advanced their cause of freedom
Far better than they could
Farewell Kansas' shame
No tears we shed as you depart
You were the one who leaped with joy
When troops were blown apart
Farewell Westboro
To a man who had no heart or soul
What God is thinking as He meets you
I'd really love to know
And you screamed to me that the Lord hates fags
But he loves those I E D's
The doctrine you were preaching
An obsession, a disease
All too quick with condemnation
No hope to repent or save
I'd like some day to get the chance
To piss upon your grave
A cancer grew in your heart
You stood to fan the fires of hate
When lives were torn apart
You vilified our country
And exploited peoples' pain
Now you burn in Hades
We'll no longer speak your name
And it seems to me that you lived your life
As a tyrant and fraud
Never tempering your message
Of a vengeful God
Soon your footsteps will be washed away
From Topeka's city streets
A hell-fire sentence waits for you
At Yahweh's judgement seat
Decency was tossed
Your words so outrageous and vile
A picket sign you carried
And a rod to beat your child
A wretched evil guy
Uncouth, inspiring fear
I lack the words to tell you
How sick I felt when you came near
And it seems to me that the life you lived
An example to ignore
Ever spewing forth your venom
Till you were no more
While the people you were condemning
Never fought back as they should
You advanced their cause of freedom
Far better than they could
Farewell Kansas' shame
No tears we shed as you depart
You were the one who leaped with joy
When troops were blown apart
Farewell Westboro
To a man who had no heart or soul
What God is thinking as He meets you
I'd really love to know
And you screamed to me that the Lord hates fags
But he loves those I E D's
The doctrine you were preaching
An obsession, a disease
All too quick with condemnation
No hope to repent or save
I'd like some day to get the chance
To piss upon your grave
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User Comments
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Using a song by Elton John to eulogize Fred Phelps; stroke of genius!! You know, this song has commercial potential, Patrick. Send it to a local DJ
Yep. Here's hoping he'll be greeting Dan Savage there soon.
Bugger.. knew I should have been a bit quicker to finish that one - I've just submitted another that's basically the same idea. Though when it shows up, I think you'll find it's a little different :)
Excellent job.
Excellent job.
I started thinking about this a couple days ago when I heard that Fred was ill. Yesterday as I was looking up the lyrics I saw a sidebar with an announcement that Fred Phelps had died. I had to speed things up a bit to make Friday's list. Didn't want it to get lost in the Monday crowd. Elton John must have faced the same dilemma when he learned of Princess Diana's death. That, of course, came suddenly, with no warning. Have not heard of funeral plans. Rumor is that the "church" is afraid of protesters. After I showed this parody to a friend, he asked to post it on his Facebook page, but objected to the last verse. So I rewrote the last four lines in a more conciliatory vein: "Jesus came to earth to save us/And His precious blood He shed/He gave His life upon the cross/It was for us--and Fred" .Topeka is only about 50 miles from here, and I go there several times a year. I'll let you know if I ever carry out my plan. One problem: I don't like standing in lines.
Pure genius! LOL!
God Hates Frauds!!! 555 Patrick :)
Finally! The POS is gone. Good riddance.
I posted a fragment of a similar parody on a site with much less stringent standards (doesn't specialize in song parodies) You missed out on the obvious refrain -- And it seems to me that you lived your life like a bastard in a Church ... Always speaking of vengeance; Our faith you did besmirch .... And I would have liked to butt stroke you; Deceased was just a kid ... You advanced their rights agenda; Much better than they did
"Butt stroke" can have a double meaning. Are you talking of a rifle or your hand? Fred Phelps was a fitness fan, running and riding a bicycle. When I met him back in the 1980's he wore tight-fitting fluorescent pants that showed off his derriere to great advantage. Some think this may have been the origin of his crusade: his flamboyant dress allegedly drew the attention of some homosexuals. Others think that the rabid denunciation of homosexuality was a cover for inner feelings of attraction to men. Fred may have feared latent homosexuality in himself. Who knows? Your line "advanced their rights agenda, much better than they did" is the absolute truth. One local pastor in Topeka was on TV saying that Phelps was a constant reminder to look inside one's self and avoid words and actions that might bring sorrow to others. No pro-gay demonstrations and rallies ever could have achieved public acceptance of the life-style anywhere near as effectively as Phelps' negative example did.
Since the first part of the lyric refers to a young soldiers funeral, I have a sneaking suspicion I was referring to the technique of gently massaging the side of Fred's melon with a rifle butt. ...... At a minimum, Fred made blatant, reflexive abuse of gay men absolutely toxic, especially with people who had no problem doing it -- before the example of Phelps that is
Ding-dong, the Fred is dead. Time to hoist the Blue Cross Flag.
Fred Phelps and Putin would make a good couple.
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