Hi! My name is.. (Karm-) My name is.. (-ma)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Earl) My name is.. (Earl)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

[Part 1]
Hi! My name is.. (Where?) My name is.. (Huh?)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (List) My name is.. (Deeds)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

[Part 2 sung over Part 1]
Ahem.. excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
for one second?

Hi kids! Do you like violence? (No no no!)
Win the Lotto, get hit by a semitruck and be silenced? (No way!)
Wanna copy me and do exactly like I did? (Yeah yeah!)
Write yourself a list of how you screwed life up? (Huh?)
My brain dead bro, he thinks E.T. was a monkey
And my life was a wreck until I just discovered Karma (What's that?)
And Carson Daly said, "Ya gotta have good Karma!"
Oh-kaaay! "So what is Karma? Man, I'm wastin'!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt I was someone else
Cause I stole some old geezer's old hot dog truck, but then it caught fire
Cross it off my list when we got a new one
We had to get jobs, we found the dude's competition 'dogs
I faked my own death, yeah Earl, broke up with my girl
Then I found a cute hick named Joy, what a blast
Got married! (Hickey, I pronounce you, man and wife, dude!)
Never had no luck, I got hit by a semitruck!

Hi! My name is.. (Yo!) My name is.. (Earl)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Yeah!) My name is.. (Yo!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

Hi! My name is.. (Fish?) My name is.. (Huh?)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Karma) My name is.. (Deeds)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

I met a teacher when I gave her comp back, she caught my eye (Earl's got a girlfirend!)
That was long after Joy divorced, found another guy
Forgot to fix the bus stop, it kept missin', grannies kept on dissin'
They had to hold up stupid signs of cardboard
Did class discussions, talked about my Karma
And I remember, the bees kept stinging my lip up
I am the Karma man, I got a Karma plan, drivin' Karma vans while I'm saying "We're Karma's friends!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I did goof up
When is a film based on the F-Troop up (Huh?)
I tell people to focus on a better Karma
Make a list of the stupid things you've doen and cross 'em off! (When ya done 'em!)
my brother named Randy is such a stupid man
He thinks that Howard Dean's the guy who played Superman (Dean Cain!)
This guy with an Afro asked Joy to marry him
(Joy, honey, will you marry me?)
But I goofed it: Got drunk, I crashed the wedding, [Censored]!

Hi! My name is.. (Earl!) My name is.. (Dave?)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Steve!) My name is.. (Bartholomew!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

Hi! My name is.. (Joe?) My name is.. (No!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Jim?) My name is.. (No!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

Season's done! Second one will be here this fall! (Plug plug!)
NBC, Thursday nights at Eight O' Clock!
But that's Seven Central, not sure 'bout the Mountain
Just check local listings, it's earlier this season, by about an hour
After that is The Office! What will Michael do next?
'Twas my birthday of Joy's wedding -- before I goofed? (Plug plug plug)
All my life I was Karma deprived
Then I saw a semi hit me, and I saw Carson Daly one night
(Wow!) I ripped out some pices of paper (Riiip!)
I wrote down the stuff (Karrr-ma) I did, everything that's dumb (Karma)
Then I recovered, me and Randy got busy, shortened my list
How ya gonna cross it all off? (Uhh...)
You aged forty six! (Uhhh...)
I saved a man from committing suicide
he would camouflage himself to match the road up ahead (What!?)
I made him live (Joy!)
And I gave him a reason to live (Yeah!)
Should have discovered Karma a long time ago!

Hi! My name is.. (Earl!) My name is.. (Randy)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Joy!) My name is.. (Crabman!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey

Hi! My name is.. (Jay?) My name is.. (Nay!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey
Hi! My name is.. (Earl?) My name is.. (Yeah!)
My name is.. [Scratching] Earl Hickey