"Look at this one, men: sandwich with no condiments
No sauce, no salt, no cheese
So, you know what we do here, soldiers?
"We make a brand new sandwich!"
That old sandwich?
"We throw that thing where it belongs: in the bin!""

Look at the young men feasting
Look at the women eating
Look at the kids just slobb'ring
A mess like never seen before

Look at the mess they're making
Look at the food they're spraying
Close your mouth when you're talking!
It's spreading all across the floor

Take our advice
Stop eating shit like Coke and fries
Take a walk, do other exercise
What a flabby bod, best start eating right
This is your last greased meal tonight
You're barely fit, you can't deny
Who are we, you ask, with a sparkling eye?
Just healthy guys who side with the Sandwich Corps!

To start your diet plan
Wholemeal bread with ham
You say "Is it still delicious?"

I say yes, we aim to please
That's our policy
Diets suck when they taste yucky

So just take a bite and taste it, man
We got a lot of spreadsheets to keep track of your
Diet, now excuse us
We'll leave them in your hands

There's more lardos to see and
Lend a helping hand

That's
Our job in the Sandwich Corps
We search for people who have diets poor
We're Balanced Diet spreadin' soldiers
Always in a team of four
(It makes sense)
When you're in the Sandwich Corps

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!!!

When your stomach needs filling
Don't go buy food that's dripping
With grease and other bad things
That's why your heart just stopped before

And in your couch don't wallow
Here's a regime you should follow
It may be hard to swallow
You will be thanking us, I'm sure

That's our advice
Nothing you say will change our minds
But if you say no in a way most polite
We will not press on - you have your rights
We would still want you to eat right
We would hope that you will see the light
We won't get all cross if you deny
That's just the way we are in the Sandwich Corps!

"Encourage delicious healthy toppings like mayo
And anything but pickles
No real reason, it's just that I hate them
Though if they don't hate 'em
Don't say that they can't, it's stupid
We look like dicks"

Yes, we are the Sandwich Corps
Now we will leave and you think on it more
You just mull over all your options
We'll back Thursday at 4
(Just to check)
If you need us - the Sandwich Corps

Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!

You may ask the Sandwich Corps
Why we're called the Sandwich Corps
Well, it's because our sacred founder
Sandwiches he did adore
(Jared Fresh)
So he made the Sandwich Corps

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

We are the Sandwich Corps

Oooooooooooo
We are the Sandwich Corps
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum yum!

“Dagwood sammich with hot sauce, anyone?”