I've a hobby which is knitting
It's not quite what you'd call a thriller
But you'll find I'm quite the ripper
Knitting jumpers and socks and beanies
Stitching cotton endlessly
A great long scarf, incredibly comfy
It's not itchy though it's fuzzy
I mail it to my friend who's nerdy
Loves the Doctor (meaning the fourth one)

Oh, I can knit extremely well
Sports colour scarves, wool gloves as well

All around the world renowned
Because my knitting skills are exceeding
Anyone else's, I'm needing
More commissions to buy more wool, please
Always gotta deal with total jerks
Who think because I love Yoshi
I'll make plushies of him for free
I may love to knit, but I won't be so cheap, you big douche

Oh, I can knit extremely well
Jumpers for warmth in crap hote-els
Oh, want plush red and white blood cells?
Those I can knit covered in fe-e-elt

Said it was a hobby
Now it's my business, see
Knitting Emporium
As a shop name it wo-orks fine
The best part, it's all mine
The profit's a gold mine
And that's just fine
Perfectly fi-ine, fi-i-ine

Own employer, own employer
And so there's nobody to sack me
For dropping stitches badly
Or making the odd jumper with holes (knitted holes)
Easily repaired and then
It's shipped to whoever has been ord'ring
My range of products, transporting
To all countries that can buy from me, a lot, you see, whoa

Oh, I can knit extremely well
Made it my job, cause what the he-ell
Oh, so far it's worked out quite swell
I love to knit and that pays well (so buy from my store)