When I look at you I wish I were blind
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)
I'd rather stare all day at a horse's behind
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)

You look like a million bucks
Have just stomped and trampled and tromped on your face
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)
You're easy on the eyes
As battery acid or when blasted with mace
Tell me how does it feel when strangers tell you to bark and heel
And roll over

Little children see you coming- they run and hide
Your beautician committed suicide
You look like you get by with your mind
When I look at you I wish I were blind
Wish I were blind

If ugly was a crime
You'd be spending all your time on death row
Love those outfits you chose
I feel bad oh so sad for those clothes
Some looks can stop a clock but yours would surely knock
Big Ben to the ground
Right to the ground

Your face looks like it was run over by a giant truck ti-re
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)
And then was twisted yanked and pulled with an old pair of pli-ers
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)
And then was chewed on by a dog and thrown into a fi-re
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)
And then was pressed and held inside of a steaming waffle i-ron
(When I look at you I wish I were blind)