Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "What if God Was Blind?"

Original Song Title:

"One of Us"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Joan Osborne

Parody Song Title:

"What if God Was Blind?"

Parody Written by:

Michael Byington

The Lyrics

This parody was written by a legally blind author for the enjoyment of blind friends and associates. It was performed at the Friends in Art Showcase at the American Council of the Blind convention, 1999
What if God was blind?
How would the world change?
Where would he get O&M?
And how would he pay for it?
Would public transit improve?
Or would cars drive themselves
Like Kit on Nightrider?
Yah yah, what if God was blind?
Yah yah, or maybe legally blind?
Yah yah yah yah yah, what if God was blind like us?
Just some blind guy on a bus,
Listening to the homeless cuss,
Hoping the driver announces stops.

What if God could not see,
And was some blind girl,
Would she feel safe on the streets,
Traveling throughout the world,
Would she use a white cane,
Or maybe a guide dog,
And would people shout at her too loud,
Or establish a dialogue?
Yah yah, what if God were a blink,
Yah, Rodman wouldn't dye his hair pink
Yah yah yah yah yah, what if God was blind but sane?
Just some blind girl on the train,
Would Bill Clinton feel her pain>
Smelling all the unwashed masses.
Wiping grease from bioptic glasses
Searching for a detectable warning
Sometimes she'd feel quite in mourning,
Enduring N.F.B.'s scorning.

(musical interlude)

Yah yah yah yah yah, what if God was out of sight?
Just some blind hermaphrodite,
Or a low vision Israelite,
Trying to find his way home.
No Braille directions to his thrown.
That's accessibility he'd condone.
His guide dog's sitting on his thrown.
Get down Moses; chew your bone.
Nobody knocks or pounds his door.
Except maybe Mark from Baltimore.



(c) Michael Byington, 1999, may not be reproduced or performed without the permission of the author. Recorded performance also appears on Friends In Art Showcase disk, 1999, (c) Friends in Art of the American Council of the Blind

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/joanosborne2.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1340