Hey! One day,
I'm at Bob's house and I
kicked down his front door
Why? To get inside,
Bob didn't seem to happy
But ent-tered-was-this-for-eign-wo-man
Her en-ga-lish was crappy

(What is goin' on?.....What is goin' on?)

Hey! Who's this?
Where did she come from
And why is she with you?
"Why?" Bob asked with pride,
"My Asian bridal order."
Bob gave-me-his-cat-a-log
No time to sit and loiter

God blessed me
I never thought I might
Find somebody...
Bob told me
I should go buy a wife
So I did

Des-per-rate
They accept credit cards
No holding back...
So nervous
Can't believe I bought my wife
From overseas

*Each day I continue waiting
Impatience comes over me
I shipped her through U.P.S.
No more hassle with dating
Skip straight to going steady
I can't wait to see
Her come dance for me...
And sing for me...
And clean for me...
And pamper me...
And cook for me...
Be there for me...
And care for me...*

Weeks go by
My cargo just arrived
With her inside...
Vi-et-nam
From where I got my wife
Yes indeed

But mom calls me
She found a pretty girl
She's too late cause...
"Mom, guess what?"
I've already got a wife
I bought my wife...
Bought my wife...
Bought my wife...
(repeat over and over until end)