0: And now it's time for Stupid Songs with Bob, the part of the show where Bob sings a stupid song. One day while talking with Dr. Quack, Bob confronts one of his deepest fears

1: If my hips ever let me down
I gained weight and got too round
Then I'd be fat
I'm scared of that

2: I see. So you'd be fat, you're scared of that
1: Then I'd be fat

If my hips should start to grow
Got so big that I could roll
Then I'd be fat
Just think of that

2: Oh dear! So you'd be fat, just think of that
1: Then I'd be fat

If my hips should rip my pants
Any time I tried to dance
Then I'd be fat
I'd call my cat

2: Then you'd be fat, you'd call your cat
1: Then I'd be fat

2: Hold it. Did you say your cat? Interesting! So what you're saying is that if you put on a few pounds
1: Then I'd be fat, I'm scared of that, just think of that, I'd call my cat. Then I'd be fat
2: You would be fat?
1: I would be fat

2: What do you mean?
1: I love my hips
[scat break]

2: Oh my...this is concerning me even more now. Bob, tell me what you see in these ink spots
1: Um, that looks like a hip
2: What about this?
1: It's a hip
2: And this?
1: It's a hip, it's a hip, it's a hip, hip, hip
It's a hip, it's a hip, it's a hip, hip, hip
It's a hip, it's a hip, it's a hip, hip, hip
It's a hip
It's a hip, hip, hip
2: Bob, tell me about your childhood

1: When I was just three years old
I swallowed 16 doughnut holes
And gained some weight
What awful fate

2: You gained some weight, what awful fate
1: I gained some weight
2: I see

1: In senior high I weighed 110
I started dating my girlfriend
Her name was Jess
And she weighed less

2: Her name was Jess and she weighed less
1: Her name was Jess
2: Oh dear

1: Yesterday was hard for me
When I unloaded groceries
I tried to fast
But it was hard for me to be anorexic for so long as an hour so then I binged and got a whole pizza stuck in my esophagus and I figured the only way to get it out was to shove some chocolate and coke down with it except that didn't work so I tried using a toilet plunger but that still didn't work and they had to do open-throat surgery on me so now my voice sounds funny and my doctor only spoke German so he taught me the word for hip: Hüfte
2: You tried to fast..Hüfte? How do you spell that?
1: No clue

2: So what you're saying is
1: I gained some weight, what awful fate
Her name was Jess and she weighed less
I tried to fast
Hüfte
2: I'm perplexed
1: I love my hips
[scat break]
2: Bob...Bob...

0: This has been stupid songs with Bob. Tune in next time to hear Bob say...
1: Have I ever told you how I feel about acne?
2: Oh, look at the time!
1: [scat break]