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Song Parodies -> "I Just Can't Find My Damn Ring"
Original Song Title:
"I Just Can't Wait To Be King"
Original Performer:
Lion King Cast
Parody Song Title:
"I Just Can't Find My Damn Ring"
Parody Written by:
Adam Eccleshall
The Lyrics
[Sauron]
I was a mighty overlord
From down by Barad-dur
[Mouth of Sauron]
Yes, he'd still be living large but for
That blasted Isildur
[Sauron]
I'm still a little miffed at how
That bugger bested me
And now that he's got just one heir
His line will end, you'll see
[Mouth of Sauron]
Yes, Sir, but there's just one little thing...
[Sauron]
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
[Sauron]
Lookin' down in Rohan
Lookin' in the Shire
If we don't find it, they will
Chuck it in the fire
[Mouth of Sauron]
Oh, Sire!
[Sauron]
Have the minions search all day
Gotta make that ranger pay
[Mouth of Sauron]
I think it's time that you and I
Arranged for war to start
[Sauron]
Send the Nazgul out
Instilling fear into their hearts
[Mouth of Sauron]
It's off to Pelennor they are now headed
Should be fun
Lots of screaming, lots of yelling, oh,
Those man-things sure can run
But still, they haven't found that precious thing
[Sauron]
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
(instrumental)
[Sauron]
Send the Uruk-hai left
Send the Nazgul off right
If he's not got it, then try
Mini-me and half-pint
[Mouth of Sauron]
Alright
[Sauron]
Send ev'ry minion out to fetch my ring
Whoever finds it, I will make a King
It really is the ultimate in bling
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
Oh, I just can't fiiiiiiiiind my damn Riiiiiiiing
I was a mighty overlord
From down by Barad-dur
[Mouth of Sauron]
Yes, he'd still be living large but for
That blasted Isildur
[Sauron]
I'm still a little miffed at how
That bugger bested me
And now that he's got just one heir
His line will end, you'll see
[Mouth of Sauron]
Yes, Sir, but there's just one little thing...
[Sauron]
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
[Sauron]
Lookin' down in Rohan
Lookin' in the Shire
If we don't find it, they will
Chuck it in the fire
[Mouth of Sauron]
Oh, Sire!
[Sauron]
Have the minions search all day
Gotta make that ranger pay
[Mouth of Sauron]
I think it's time that you and I
Arranged for war to start
[Sauron]
Send the Nazgul out
Instilling fear into their hearts
[Mouth of Sauron]
It's off to Pelennor they are now headed
Should be fun
Lots of screaming, lots of yelling, oh,
Those man-things sure can run
But still, they haven't found that precious thing
[Sauron]
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
(instrumental)
[Sauron]
Send the Uruk-hai left
Send the Nazgul off right
If he's not got it, then try
Mini-me and half-pint
[Mouth of Sauron]
Alright
[Sauron]
Send ev'ry minion out to fetch my ring
Whoever finds it, I will make a King
It really is the ultimate in bling
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
Oh, I just can't find my damn Ring
Oh, I just can't fiiiiiiiiind my damn Riiiiiiiing
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 5 | 6 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 17 | 16 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Utterly, utterly brilliant, Adam - definitely my SOTM so far. :-D
This ROCKS!!! Excellent, Adam!!! 5s...
On the one hand, almost any original with "ring" or a rhyming word prominently featured in the lyrics can be made into a Tolkienian parody...On the other, the dialogue (especially the switch between formal language and slang/profanity) was cleverly written. 5-5-5.
I don't understand why you have to always preface a complemint with a rude coment, Ingaborg. Alot of people choose rhyming words from the original to change it to what they want to write about. If you are wiling to give it three 5s, what is teh point of being rude, first.
I'm going to have to disagree with Ingeborg here. If it was so easy to write a LOTR parody, I would have written one by now. ; ) It's hard enough to even understand the damn movies! I thought this was fabulous Adam!
"On the one hand, almost any original with "ring" or a rhyming word prominently featured in the lyrics can be made into a Tolkienian parody" ...... gee whiz, ya know, Ingeborg, although I'm sure you intended that as a scholarly and technical writer's-observation with no ill-will attached to it at all ...... still..... please.....read it again....and tell us all if you don't think it sounds snobbishly elitist......my goodness, Ingeborg, of COURSE any original with "ring" or a prominent lyric that rhymes with "ring" can be made into a Tolkien-parody.....just as any original with "soar" or "lore" or "war" or "adore" or "four" or "roar" can be made into a Thor-Asatru-themed parody.....or any original with a prominent lyric that consists of "(one-syllable)-(one-syllable)-(one-syllable-that-rhymes-with-"be")" can be made into a parody of The Beatles' song "Let It Be" ..... and on and on..... just what was your point, Ingeborg?
Excellent! The perfect companion to mine from last year, (of the Council of Elrond): http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/eltonjohn9.shtml
Thanks, guys.
Steven- I read yours when I was checking no one had done this before. I loved it :-)
Steven- I read yours when I was checking no one had done this before. I loved it :-)
You look into Arwen's eyes, don't go near that Gollum creep, yeah, you miss those movies, and you don't want to miss a ring!
Michael Pacholek!!!
Did you just spout LOTR-themed lyrics?!? I KNEW you would come around!!! You would not believe the grin on my face! Go ahead and write the whole song now, sweetie...I'll wait patiently...=) (remember how patiently I waited for the Hamlet bit??)
P.S. Still think this is FAB, Adam!!
Did you just spout LOTR-themed lyrics?!? I KNEW you would come around!!! You would not believe the grin on my face! Go ahead and write the whole song now, sweetie...I'll wait patiently...=) (remember how patiently I waited for the Hamlet bit??)
P.S. Still think this is FAB, Adam!!
Fantastic read. Loved the lines "Should be fun Lots of screaming, lots of yelling"
Very good...and I'm glad it wasn't about someone trying to find a lost wedding ring. I might take that personally =)
I had not intended "snobbish elitism" in my original comment, though I do regret coming across that way anyhow. For *any* given subject/rhyme combination, though, it's hard to balance originality with good references to the "base song"--and I had meant to compliment the writer on pulling that off well.
Over-generalizing is no better than making left-handed compliments: I've rated songs here before without making remarks you might consider rude, so the "always" thing is not quite true.
Clever tune, from my favorite Disney movie. (really!)
(ABC) Great Tolkien parody!
(ABC)DKTOS, but a very good read.
(ABC05) Whatever happened to Ingeborg?
(I-05) I really need to see the movies to get all of this. lol on "bling".
(ABC) Loved how you broke down each part, had to give 5's all the way!
ABC--yep, still ROCKS!
(ABC) Precious... must give tri-fives to the preeeecious...
(ABC) Very well done, Adam, I was snortling throughout. 555
( I ) - I know very little of which you speak, Adam, but I know a good sub when I see one - nice idea
(ABC) Ahhh, Tolkien parodies, yes! Among my favorites.
(ABC-I) This parody is Tolkien toking. Well done.
(ABC05) Very clever and well executed.
(I) DNKOS but good read. Loved the mini-me line
Like a lot of people here, i guess i've got a little bit of a soft spot for middle-earth parodies. But the first barad-dur isildur rhyme seemed a little awkward. It's also kind of hard to outdo or even compared with the multitudes of brilliant tolkein parodies that have been done. This may not be elite, but it is the next level under that. 544
I am not a Tolkein fan but can appreciate the skill in this...
Well done...not really familiar with the OS, but I am a decent Tolkien fan.
(ABC) Only after I finished reading it did I realize it must have been about LOTR. I never cared to see the movie so my opinion doesn't matter much on this song.
Another hilarious song! Good work!
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