I was born inside a pickup truck
Outside of Omaha
My Momma cried he's got a beak
As big as a Macaw
The doctor said your baby's fine
Ten fingers and ten toes
Except you should be thinkin' 'bout
Repairin' that boy's nose
Oooooh new nose.

But Momma was too poor to pay
And it Pinochioed
Until the postal service
Had to give it a zip code
I couldn't see around it
I could barely find the floor
When kids went boatin' on the lake
They used me as an oar
Oooooh new nose.

Chorus
Some people diet til they're thin
Lift their eyelids fix their chin
Inject themselves to swell their lips
Install artificial hips
Liposuction big fat thighs
Have themselves lobotomized
I aint needin' none of those
New nose.

The airport said that it endangered
Airplanes when they land
When bullies tried to punch it
They'd always break their hand
I went to see a plastic surgeon
But he broke the date
Said son you can't afford me
'cuz I don't give group rates
Oooooh new nose.

Chorus
Some folks diet til they're thin
Lift their eyelids fix their chin
Inject themselves to swell their lips
Install artificial hips
Liposuction big fat thighs
Have themselves lobotomized
I aint needin' none of those...

Michael Jackson King of Pop
Wish I had the one you got
Help me doctor be a sport
Take it all and build a fort
It acts just like a firehose
When I sneeze I soak my clothes
Pretty please I'm workin' hard
Put it on my credit card
Turn it up turn it out
Turn it into sauerkraut
Get your rhinoplasty team'n
Make it better 'fore I'm screamin'
New nose.

Oh new nose.