(I drive a segway in my mind)

Putty putty put put ding dong
Varoom!!
Pump the gears, go burn the gears up this time
Varoom!!
Pump the gas, pump the gas
Varoom!!
Now my car has got me pissed off
Pump the gas, pump the gas
Varoom!!
Now my car has got me pissed off
Bang bang, pop bang bam, bang bam
(Watch his car, it won't go for now)
Not a GEO!

Now when I turn the motor up (it squeals)
Column crumbling, column crumbling now
I hear the engine bubble up (I squeal)
Smoke is coming up, smoke is coming up now
Yeah when I rev the motor up (Bad deal)
Will be dumping, will be dumping close from now
So when I rev the motor up (Paint peels)
Will be dumping it, will be dumping it soon from now
It squeals so loud, wow wow wow (his car it blows!)

Own this light Ford, a clap trap, antique crap
I shlepped it from my Gram before she dropped off
Kept in garage, rarely on the road
Not much work at all
Shined with spit-- a real nice fit
I drove that kit in all kinds of weather
No spillage ever on the floormat
Imagine that!
But still, just the same
Brown leaks on seats, I'd ignore that
Put a towel on it
The wipers spray liquid on the inside, alrighty!
Open open open up the oil cap
and watch it drain, let it drain let it drain
Like my brain
But I looked so cool, oh yes, back in those times I'd meet up a cute strumpet in the alleyway
Heyy!
And I'd do stunts, whip it round, whip it round
Blast the pipes!
But now my car has got me pissed off

Take the bus, take the bus
Woe!
'Pushed a button ripped the hood off
Take the bus, take the bus
Woe!
And the brakes are gettin' worn off
Vroom vroom!--a pow-pow--a flippity dee doo
(he really should lose that car now) Oh wow wow wow

So when I rev the motor up (it squeals)
Hazard light flashing, hazard light flashing now
So when I rev the motor up (popped seal)
Dashboard flying off, dashboard flying off now
So when I rev the motor up (for real)
Radio playing Spanish radio now
So when I rev the motor up (next meal)
What you wanna do, what you gonna do now?
I feel so bad, I feel so bad

Emotionally strained, it makes me get tough
It tests me when it shuts off
It broke my spirit, there's a break in framework
So lame, my friend, my car's so lame
I would say it's a bummer
Pop pow pop pow
The engine it now pops out a melody
It imitates that Maxwellian tank
That Jack Benny rode with Mel Blanc
Gotta turn it with a crank
Everybody got to shut the doors lightly
Afraid that the rear window might fall out behind
Speaking of safety
There is no seat belt, was torn long ago
And yo, the steering is flimsy
Believe me, this is quite a rumble seat!

Well I met the bank again and we had a few words
So I got a loan at ten percent, a second mortgage for my old home
It's well-known I sold off my I-phone
And I went to see the mechanic at Auto Zone, I got him all booked up
The dude he looks up, and looks up, and then his grizzled face lights up
Toothy head then just smiles, and he's looking rather high
'Cause this car has got me pissed off
This car has got me pissed off
This car has got me pissed off
I got in and then I sped off
(Ain't a-gonna fix it now, holy cow)
Rent a Volo, rent a Volo!
Finance the Swedes kid!

Solo: (wow wow wow...I drive a piece of s***!...noooo!...flood flood, flood the pipes, baby...wow wow wow wow...Hate this!...and pop pop pop now)
(Watch him go scrap it now!)

Now now now my car has troubles, close it up (I squeal)
Call up a tow truck, call up a tow truck now
My car has troubles, close it up (make deal)
Call up a tow truck, call up a tow truck now
This car has troubles, close it up (a steal)
Call up a tow truck, call up a tow truck now...