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Song Parodies -> "I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"
Original Song Title:
"I Would Do Anything For Love(But I Won't Do That)"
Original Performer:
Meat Loaf
Parody Song Title:
"I Would Do Anything When Drunk(But I Won't Do That"
Parody Written by:
Dee Range
The Lyrics
I had to "Screw" around with this to make it family friendlier.
I WOULD "DO" ANYTHING WHEN DRUNK
Yes I would do anything when drunk
I've got low standards in the sack
Mother-in-law, your dog, some skunk
I'd even lay with some that oink or quack
But I'll always regret the way I feel right now
Oh no...no way...
'Cause I would "do" anything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?
And some lays are really greasy
And sometimes I don't get hard
Some lays I don't come at all
And those are the lays that never end
But her breath is putrid fire
Her panties are leakin' lice
Her thighs are like mountains I'll have to climb before
I take a spin
Last night is still hazy...how she got here I've no clue
A bad acid flashback, or a damn nightmare that has come true
But now it's my stomach that's churning
And why is my crotch now burning?
And how can I scream while puking too?
I just dont believe it
'Cause I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would doanything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?
I would do anything when drunk
I look at her my manhood's shrunk
No way I could do that
I would do anything when drunk
One look at her turns men to monks
Oh damn, did I screw ...?
I think she's a freak of science
I look for my ten foot pole
Right now I just sit and watch her
Connect the dots between her moles
I must have been horny, and as blind drunk as you can be
Her sweet spot was thorny, and as I sit here bleeding I just weep
It seems like I'm never learning
Her smell keeps the flies returning
I hate when night-mares keep coming true..
.I just can't believe it
Yes I will do anything when drunk
When my balls are blue they all attract
I would do anything when drunk
Why the hell's my Johnson turning black?
But I've seen an Irish setter better lookin that you
That thong...so wrong
And I would do anything when drunk
I just can't believe how low I've sunk
I would do anything when drunk
But I won't do that, no no no
I won't do that
(The Girl) If I raise you up
Will you then go down?
Or are you like the others
Who are always skipping town?
Will you make sure you've got the right fold?
(Me) I can't do that!...No
I can't do that!
(Girl) Do you hate me because it's leprosy I've got?
Will you hose me down with toilet water if I smell like rot(rot)?
Will you shave me in places that I've never mown?
(Me) I can't do that! Noooo!
I can't do that
(Girl) Yes I'm a little gory...spesh'ly my mound
Give in to your lust and let's go to town
Come on and hurry, I'm due back at the pound
(Me) I won't ...do that...
(ME, climbing on) Guess I will do that
Anything for lust....
How could I do that?
Yes I would do anything when drunk
I've got low standards in the sack
Mother-in-law, your dog, some skunk
I'd even lay with some that oink or quack
But I'll always regret the way I feel right now
Oh no...no way...
'Cause I would "do" anything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?
And some lays are really greasy
And sometimes I don't get hard
Some lays I don't come at all
And those are the lays that never end
But her breath is putrid fire
Her panties are leakin' lice
Her thighs are like mountains I'll have to climb before
I take a spin
Last night is still hazy...how she got here I've no clue
A bad acid flashback, or a damn nightmare that has come true
But now it's my stomach that's churning
And why is my crotch now burning?
And how can I scream while puking too?
I just dont believe it
'Cause I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would do anything when drunk
Yes I would doanything when drunk
But I won't do that...
Damn, did I do that?
I would do anything when drunk
I look at her my manhood's shrunk
No way I could do that
I would do anything when drunk
One look at her turns men to monks
Oh damn, did I screw ...?
I think she's a freak of science
I look for my ten foot pole
Right now I just sit and watch her
Connect the dots between her moles
I must have been horny, and as blind drunk as you can be
Her sweet spot was thorny, and as I sit here bleeding I just weep
It seems like I'm never learning
Her smell keeps the flies returning
I hate when night-mares keep coming true..
.I just can't believe it
Yes I will do anything when drunk
When my balls are blue they all attract
I would do anything when drunk
Why the hell's my Johnson turning black?
But I've seen an Irish setter better lookin that you
That thong...so wrong
And I would do anything when drunk
I just can't believe how low I've sunk
I would do anything when drunk
But I won't do that, no no no
I won't do that
(The Girl) If I raise you up
Will you then go down?
Or are you like the others
Who are always skipping town?
Will you make sure you've got the right fold?
(Me) I can't do that!...No
I can't do that!
(Girl) Do you hate me because it's leprosy I've got?
Will you hose me down with toilet water if I smell like rot(rot)?
Will you shave me in places that I've never mown?
(Me) I can't do that! Noooo!
I can't do that
(Girl) Yes I'm a little gory...spesh'ly my mound
Give in to your lust and let's go to town
Come on and hurry, I'm due back at the pound
(Me) I won't ...do that...
(ME, climbing on) Guess I will do that
Anything for lust....
How could I do that?
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 27 | 24 | 25 |
User Comments
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Lots of funny lines, Dee...but "I look for my ten foot pole" was a highlight for me...=)
Can't really remember how this paces, but because I first thought this was written from Meat Loaf's perspective, I especially enjoyed the lines "Her thighs are like mountains I'll have to climb before I take a spin." It was really hard to imagine Meat Loaf doing the climb on someone bigger than him, but I managed to picture it.
You sure didn't loaf around here. Five cups of black coffee. Yeah, I know, that'll just make him a wide-awake drunk. How about five B-12 shots?
Disgustingly, riotously Brilliant....555
disgustingly hilarious...especially the leakin' lice....5s
Dee-skusting, and that's a compliment. Too many bad lines in here (j/k, they're great). 5s, and I submitted a parody for tomorrow called "Underground Sue", I'm sure you'd leave her alone.
Title got me laughing, the lyrics are brilliant! Perfect OS for this song.
LOL... great idea, great parody... 5-5-5
LMAO, Dee! I'm sensing a theme here - didn't you also regret sleeping with Bigfoot, and/or a hairy ape, and/or a skunk in the middle of the road? - your catalog is starting to paint a vivid picture of you in my mind - 555
Thanks Arwen, YAD, Michael, Rick C, Alvin, Red Ant, Jeff. Mr.Macphisto, and Stu....Stu, doesn't this happen to all of us who let the little head do the thinking for the big head? I think it was George Carlin who once said..."I never have slept with a "10"...but I did wake up once with five "2"'s in my bed. Now that is a man whose honesty I can admire lol.
which one's the little head?
still laughing. this is good 555
Wow, I was going to do the same song... I guess gross minds think a like, 5's here Dee...
(SOTM) dkots aint the the beingnng of this a bit sexual, lol, kinda funnyy544
SOTM...still very VERY funny, Dee! I'm not sure if it's the Chinese food I had for dinner or what, though...I'm a little more grossed out this time around. I mean, lice? LICE!?!? ; )
(SOTM)Gah-rosss! First time reading, pretty damned funny. Slashes into the pretensiousness of the OS in each line.
(SOTM) The more of the parody I read, the grosser it got. What stood out was the panties leaking lice....ewwww :)
SOTM - More George Carlin (I think): If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
(SOTM) :-)
SOTM - dirty as hell! You are sick....and that's what makes it so funny! Next time use protection (like a suit of armor and a flamethrower)
(SOTM) I gave this a listen to the version on my Power Ballads Gold 2 set CD and some of the parody lyrics didn't track up right but I'm guessing this song has several versions due to length (ie a radio edit, etc). This is funnier than the first time I read it and is one of your best Dee.
(SOTM) you are a crazy dude, Dee - but I think you're being a bit harsh coz she sounds like a veritable theme park to me - sex with her at night then play join-the-dots on her in the morning (you'd never have to leave home) - and it's all the funnier being set to this overwrought OS - it's about time you started cranking some more parodies out I reckon :-)
(SOTM) "Connect the dots between her moles" ... "Will you make sure you've got the right fold?" ... YIKES! 5s
SOTM - If this is the family friendlier version I would be sure not to have read the other version...
I thought I commented on this one earlier (and I'm getting a sense of deja vu, here: all these parodies I keep thinking "I thought I'd left a comment... but obviously not"). Anyway, as a Meatloaf fan, I loved this one: I could really hear him singing it :-D
(SOTM) Sounds like you REALLY can't handle your liquor.
(SOTM) Yet another I missed first time around. I'd say there were a lot of LOL moments here, but they were more like PJUOF (pick jaw up off floor)...this is truly the work of a scary mind, Dee...but I thoroughly enjoyed it. 555
Too bad about your Johnson, because you know what they say: Once it goes black...
I thought Luke was a sure bet for the gross-out award this month, but there's no competing with panty lice. Your screen name has never been more poignant. All I knew of the OS was the title line (there aren't many Meat Loaf songs I can listen to all the way through), so you owe me a drink for having to download and listen to this one. Then I'll buy a few drinks and we'll see what we can scrape up.
Anyhoo. Thanks for clarifying everything with your intro comment. Heh heh. And "I'm due back at the pound" is classic.
I thought Luke was a sure bet for the gross-out award this month, but there's no competing with panty lice. Your screen name has never been more poignant. All I knew of the OS was the title line (there aren't many Meat Loaf songs I can listen to all the way through), so you owe me a drink for having to download and listen to this one. Then I'll buy a few drinks and we'll see what we can scrape up.
Anyhoo. Thanks for clarifying everything with your intro comment. Heh heh. And "I'm due back at the pound" is classic.
I read "some lays are really greasy" and thought it was about potato chips. It's, um, not. Great idea, horrifyingly well executed.
(SOTM) your Ten foot pole, huh? not buying it. otherwise I would've believed it was a true story
Ethan, you must not have heard the expression "I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole"....you seem to be under the impression that I'm bragging that I HAVE a ten foot pole, which is not what was meant here, Besides, I just barely measure a foot. And by the way, it is a true story, except for the leprosy. She didn't have leprosy...I did :-). And many thanks to everyone in the SOTM who voted and commented. Always much appreciated.
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