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Song Parodies -> "I Would Live Anywhere On Earth"

Original Song Title:

"I Would Do Anything For Love"

Original Performer:

Meat Loaf

Parody Song Title:

"I Would Live Anywhere On Earth"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

[Horrible sounds of the Condo collapsing]

And I would live anywhere on Earth
I’d stay at a hotel or camp
I would live anywhere on Earth
A marsh or swamp’ll do although they’re damp
Cause I need to get away from where I’m living right now
Oh no, Away!
And I would live anywhere on Earth
But I can’t live here!
No, I won’t live here!
Anywhere on Earth
Just like the backseat of a hearse
I would live anywhere on Earth
But I must leave here!
Damn, Why do I live here?

Heard gunshots, this place is scary
The windows are broken shards
I hear mice hump in the walls
But it’s 25 bucks a week I spend
While my oven keeps catching fire
My freezer’s a block of ice
And my damn next-door neighbor
Keeps on banging whores with screams again!

But I’ve got no money
With no money I can’t move
My days are less sunny
So much less sunny that’s the truth

As long as my curtains are burning
As long as I sleep with vermin
As long as there’s leaks right in my roof
I really must leave it!

Cause I would live anywhere on Earth
As you can see I am already packed (TA-TA!!!)
I would live anywhere on Earth
Even in your backyard garden shack (TA-TA!!!)

If I can leave condo hell
I’ll stay in your son’s tree house… tonight
Cause I would live anywhere on Earth
Yeah, Under the stage of a concert
And even a barnyard couldn’t hurt
But I won’t stay here
No, I can’t stay here!

I would live anywhere on Earth, sleep on a big ol’ pile of dirt
That would be a nice mat

I would live anywhere on Earth, in the hospital where they give birth
It don’t smell all that bad

I would live anywhere on Earth, at McDonald’s I’ll watch you gain girth
And I’ll live off Big Macs

And some days I dream of pirates
Who keep me upon their boat
And someday I plan to move to Texas
To stay at ranch or rodeo
Cause my wallpaper’s peeling
And I can’t flush the toilet bowl
And I can’t exit to the hall
Cause I’ll get tackled by the police patrol

While I think it’s loony
A billion roaches watch me pee
This house is so spooky swear a kooky ghost is after me

As long as rap music is blaring
As long as my stalker keeps starring
As long as downstairs there’s prostitutes
You’d better believe it…

That I would live anywhere on Earth
At the baseball field or the track
I would live anywhere on Earth
In a house where they make meth and crack

Cause I’m living in the gutter and really must move
So Bon Voyage!
And I would live anywhere on Earth
Oh, I would live anywhere on Earth
I would live anywhere on Earth
But I can’t live here!
No, I can’t live here!

And I would live anywhere on Earth, at the bar I’ll live, and work and flirt
Yeah, I will chug a vat

I would live anywhere on Earth, In the land of the bright blue smurfs
I can’t really do that!

I would live anywhere on Earth, In a castle I’ll work there as a serf
Although the King’s a brat

I would live anywhere on Earth, In a graveyard with a zombie curse
And I’ll just swing my bat

I would live anywhere on Earth, In mom’s basement I’ll live like a nerd
I’m here with mom and dad

I would live anywhere on Earth, Out in the fields with the cattle herd
Hope the cows won’t attack

I would live anywhere on Earth, Cause I can’t picture a place much worse
This is a death trap

But till then my sink spurts out an green ooze
My bedsprings are like knives
It’s lame!

And I would live anywhere on Earth!
Geeze, I would live anywhere on Earth!
Gosh! I would live anywhere on Earth!
But I can’t live here!
No, I can’t live here!

Would you eat my pup
Just for his doghouse?
Will you spend your whole life at Disney like Mickey Mouse?!
Can you sleep inside an army foxhole?

I can live there!
I can live there!

At the strip-club naked
Would you spend the night?
Would you clear the bolts and screws
To rest at construction sites?
In the alley where we used to go bowl?

I would live there!
Oh, yeah, I would live there!

Would you stay in my attic
If there’s a ton of rats?
Can you live with some hillbillies if their trailer stands?
Do you just need somewhere you can call home?

That’s all a fact
Oh yeah, yeah! That’s all a fact!

As a sailor on my dad’s Koran yacht
Would you swab the deck with soapy water
If we let you lodge? (LODGE!)
Or an airport gate where you never flown?

I can live there!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I can live there!

In a college dorm where you can get a free drink?
Eating Ramen as your food, and your mind is on the brink
Then you’ll sleep with some freshman dumb blonde

Let me do that!
Love to do that!

Until you make more money
Stuck in this town
Where you’re full of disgust
And you always frown
But maybe some crater
Will crush it to the ground

And I’ll hope for that
Yeah, I’ll hope for that

Anywhere on Earth…
Boy, I would live anywhere on Earth
I would live anywhere on Earth
But I can’t live here
I just can’t… live… here…

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
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 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Jason - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
This is excellent. I see this as a strong SOTM candidate!
Peter Andersson - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
The YouTube version of TOS I randomly clicked had a first paragraph longer than yours, and some choruses the same way, but then again there are different versions of this song and as long as the song is I can't hold it against Meatloaf that he came to shorten it later (I'm guessing you've used a "speed" version as the basis for your parody) and/or you for using it. Anyway it's still a very minor complaint, i did not let it stop me from giving you a clear cut 555, just wanted you to know since the very first commenter has already suggested this one for SOTM and you might wanna pick your own video/mp3 source for that should you do so, ya know, in case a reader or two are not as good sports about is as me. :-)
The First Commenter - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, I deff suggest submitting this for SOTM as like I said its a strong candidate for the said contest. It would be nice to see a different person win SOTM for a change! (I do not mean that in any disrespectful way whatsoever just to clarify.)
Matthias - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
I used the album "Bat Out Of Hell 2" for this because all of the youtube videos were shorter than the original song is supposed to be so I was forced to use the CD, believe me if I do submit this for SOTM (Which is a good possibility, because according to Jason it's really good) I'm going to make my own video using the CD as music for it. The original is 11 minutes but the first minute of that is piano so I might trim some of that down, because I think Youtube only allows 10 minute clips.
Below Average Dave - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
Windex, Mr Clean and a few masks, I'll take ANYWHERE for 25 bux a week! 5's
Peregrin - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
I have always found Meat Loaf's songs to be rather pretentious (and about 4 times as long as they should be)! Having got that off my chest, I enjoyed this one Matthias! I thought the Condo-intro was a good scene setter as well).
Dr Music - August 01, 2008 - Report this comment
That's fine with us, along as you don't decide to live near us...it's tornado central where we live. We like chasing tornados like in Twister. Twister is of course our all time favourite film.
Meriadoc - August 04, 2008 - Report this comment
I was expecting Jersey.... Excellent job.
Matthias - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Oops! Spell check! It should have been "Korean Yacht" not "Koran Yacht"... Sorry about that guys!
Below Average Dave - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
Unfortunately Matty--Koran would not have been caught by Spell Check as "Koran" is a word :)
unSwungVO - September 06, 2008 - Report this comment
EyeSlam . . . Yah ? > ? sorry Mattihias, a little too much Tequila with the Guaca . . . . it's hot here in norCALinga
Dr Music - September 07, 2008 - Report this comment
Simply beautiful song. 5's all the way. That must be really horrible condo.
EmiLoca - September 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Good job on this one. A few syllable-stress issues, but didn't detract from the whole parody. You managed to keep it amusing throughout the entirety of 11 minutes... yikes, that's an accomplishment! :-)
Max Power - September 08, 2008 - Report this comment
Here, There, and Everywhere...
Peter Andersson - September 14, 2008 - Report this comment
"I hear mice hump in the walls", you got great hearing Matty, or was that Mickey and Minnie in a Disneyland Castle wall? :-)
McKludge - September 14, 2008 - Report this comment
Peter, if you listen close you can hear them. I once heard a football announcer say live on TV, "It's so quiet in here you could hear a mouse peeing on a cottonball." His co-host was silent for almost 10 whole seconds.
Agrimorfee - September 16, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM)I'm with Dave...where is this $25 a week condo? A little confusion in the boy/girl parts as to whom is singing, but the loony heights it hits is rather appropriate to the loony heights of the OS pretension. :)
EmiLoca - September 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - See above.
Guy - September 21, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-Aug-08)

This isn't a Con-do - It's a Con-don't. On the Monopoly board this would undoubtedly be Baltic Ave. You did well keeping it going despite the light year length. I had to take a break half way through to get a drink of water. Whew!
bobpiecheese - September 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Bloody hell, that's a long song! The good thing is that at no point did you run the topic into the ground by repeating what you've said before (which I've done before, more than likely). 555 for you!
Below Average Dave - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well, as I said before I can't imagine any place at 25 dollars a week. At that rate I'd fix it up. I don't know, it's an interesting idea Matty, and well executed, all in all it was pretty good. Songs this long have to have a lot of huge lines, yours had a lot that were pretty good--but at 11 minutes long this one is hard to keep a readers interest (thats why you have to get crazy with it--which you flirted with--so cool)
Jeff Reuben - September 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree, nice job with a very, very long song. I like the idea, there were some very funny lines.
Phil Alexander - September 30, 2008 - Report this comment
Epic stuff, Matthias. Very impressive indeed.

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