I hate to bug you now
But I'll ruin your day just let me show you how
I'm trying to tell you
That I'll come around the next time you're relaxing on the beach
And you cannot reach

You try to grab a stick
Or a pen or pencil, that'll do the trick
But you don't understand why everytime you scratch
I move somewhere else
I'm a little tiny piece of hell spread all over you!

I'm an itch, I'm a bother
I'm on you like no other
I'm a nuiscense, I'm a pain
I'm driving you insane
On your foot, on your back
I won't cut you no slack
And I wouldn't have it any other way

So take me as I come
Pretty soon you're gonna scratch yourself numb
Cuz you know that you just scratch and scratch for hours
And I will not go away
Tomorrow you will have a rash
And I'll come back again!

I'm an itch, I'm a bother
I'm on you like no other
I'm a nuiscense, I'm a pain
I'm driving you insane
On your foot, on your back
I won't cut you no slack
And I wouldn't have it any other way

Just when you think
You got me licked with one of those stupid looking back scratchers
I come right back and you can't relax
Nothing will ever stop me!

I'm an itch, I'm a bother
I'm on you like no other
I'm a nuiscense, I'm a pain
I'm driving you insane
On your foot, on your back
I won't cut you no slack
And I wouldn't have it any other way

I'm an itch, if you please
I will have you on your knees
When you sleep with your lover
I sneak under the covers!
Better go get the notion
For calamine lotion
And I wouldn't have it any other way