I went to a party Wednesday night
Thought we might put boxing on and we'd catch the fight
Well that Mike Tyson sure can bite
But I started thinking it was bizarre
When a video tape was put in the VCR
The guys were going way too far
I said, "Is this some kind of trick?"
They said, "Shut up and watch the flick"
It was triple-X.

Now we're watching porn
Boy, this movie rules! Now I'm wondering
How long could those two keep up that action on the floor?
The channel never changed. It was just too good.
We all agree the only thing we wanna watch is porn
Eyes glued to the screen. Nothing's on but porn.

We don't care that it's a school night
Only thought that comes to mind is "Let there be headlights"
And I thought "Waterboy" was good
Man, it rocks to be 18
Mom and Dad won't make a scene
If they were to find out

That I've been watching porn
Well, we must have seen
Four or five at least
Those actors really must have rehearsed those scenes a lot.
Although the movies were
Kind of sick sometimes
We didn't care 'cause that's the kind of thing they have in porn
Think I'll ask the guys where they got the porn
Porn.

I wouldn't watch a porno flick
That starred my parents, God, that's sick!
I think I'd prefer seeing normal porn
They say this one's called
No Ifs, Ands or Butts
Well, maybe just a few
Big ones just to be precise
And no one turns away
>From the T.V. screen
The rewind button's broken so
You'd better catch the porn
Playing Twister's out
So is singing songs
Cause all we wanna do
Is kick back and watch the tube
That's "boob tube" to you,
We're all watching porn.
Porn.