I wet myself today
To see if I could pee
I focus on the smell
The stain above my knee

I need a change of clothes
A bath would do the thing
Try to wipe it all away
But it's all over everything

What have I become
My Swedish friend?
Everyone I know
Ran away vomiting

And you could have it all
My wet pants and shirt
I won't let you down
To a baby I revert

I wear this stain of shame
Upon my underwear
Full of broken wind
Blowing everywhere

Beneath the stains, in time
The wetness disappears
You went somewhere else
When I went right here

What have I become,
My Swedish friend?
Everyone I know
Ran away from the stench

And you could have it all
My empire of squirt
I won't let you down
To a child I revert

If I could go again
A million times a day
I would pee myself
I would find a way