My bray makes children run away
Since I sound like such a scary dude
My mouth makes strange disturbing sounds
Idolized for Death Metal crews
I am perceived by everybody
As an icon of doom, It freaks them out

My speech has made some records screech
In church choir saw old ladies pout
Impure, I made them mess their drawers
Since they know that I am no boy scout
Made the priest heave since I embody evil
"Satan loves you!" I heard them shout

Thanks to my throat I've made those nuns start hiding
I swear I'm nice though I'm dressed like a Viking
Won't chomp on bat wings
Chicken ones I would rather chew
Could you please calm down?

Don't have rabies...
I'm sorry that my voice is grating...
Hope you won't bawl...
I sound guttural...

Spit sprays, Drove carolers insane
Songs of severed heads wrecked the mood
Dark growls escaped from my jowls
I'm chastised by those Dickens loons
They think I'll cleave though Santa's body
With this jagged harpoon
I lug around

Made minds explode with GWAR while on stage nightly
But when that's done I'm acting so politely
Banned from Chuck E Cheese
And the McDonald's kiddie room
Because I'm so loud

Those crybabies...
Can't stomach it when I'm debating...
You won't be mauled...
Just sound guttural...

Might look crazy...
With those skulls and spiked armored plating...
But I won't brawl...
Just sound guttural...

My throat's aching...
It freaks out ladies while we're dating...
And foreigners while I'm translating...
You know it's really irritating...