Every day I'm gonna find a way
To eat bacon and fried food
Right now I'm feeling like a cow
Grazing grass and going moo
I'm not relieved that somebody
I use to talk to might have gout.

Red meat and a love of pomme frites
Gave me a spare tire no doubt
I'm sure I'm a carnivore
And fruits I can do without
I'm not relieved that somebody
I once knew likes brussel sprouts.

And all the cigarettes I smoke I'm inhaling
And all the beers I drink are so enthralling
There are many things that I really don't want to do
Like exercise now.

Because lately, you've been the thing that's gonna slay me
And when I fall it's high cholesterol.

Today I almost passed away
Being overweight is nothing new
Right now I wouldn't disavow
Baked goods or swiss fondue
I'm not relieved that somebody
I use to talk to might have gout.

And all the cigarettes I smoke I'm inhaling
And all the beers that I drink are so enthralling
There are many things that I really don't want to do
Like working out.

I said lately, you've been the thing that's gonna slay me
And when I fall it's high cholesterol
I said lately, you've been the thing that's gonna slay me
And when I fall it's high cholesterol
I said lately you've been the thing that's gonna slay me
You've been the thing that's gonna slay me
You've been the thing that's gonna slay me.