Oh place your hands, on my pole,
Put my fingers inside your hole
And the way that the smell is right now,
smells like cod roe

So place my ham, in your roll,
Some relief - that's my goal
It's a frenchstick that you're needing right now,
Not mustard - you cow

Put some jam on, put some jam on (x4)

You know you're open wide, as you stand astride,
You know you're open wide, slap your backside
So I ask of you oh please succumb
Rub strawberry jam, into your bum

Put some jam on, put some jam on (x4)

So lay me down, for a while,
They your pubes? Nice hairstyle.
And I cried at the shaven one,
Made a mess of my scrotum

Rub the lotion, rub the lotion(x4)

And the way that I'm itching right now,
Oh Lord it may go....