(The burps are performed in slow 12/8 time, like in "Unchained Melody," "When a Man Loves a Woman," "I Put a Spell on You," et al.)

BELCH!!! Burp, brap brap!
BELCH!!! Brap, burp burp!
BELCH!!! Burp, brap brap!
BELCH!!! Burp, brap brap!

(Repeat until verse)

When I'm gaseous and you hear, you hear repulsive sounds,
And you're sure that what I have cannot be flatulence
Don't blame your dumb dog, 'cause everybody farts and everybody burps sometimes

Sometimes You just have to fart. Now it's time to belch a lot
'Cause you you are flatulent, (BEEEEELLLCH!!!, burp, ugh!)
If you feel like passing gas, (LOUD fart!!!)
When you think you've had too much enchalatas, well go on

'Cause everybody burps. Take comfort in your Gas-X
Everybody burps. Don't throw your hand. BURP! Over your mouth
If you feel like you've got gas, BELCH!!!!! you are not alone

If you're eating beans on your plate, The Bean-O wil not help,
When you think you've had too much of this gas, just belch loud!

Well, everybody burps (Burping and belching in the background) sometimes,
Everybody farts. (Farting in the background) And everybody burps sometimes (Burping in the background)
And everybody burps sometimes. So, go on, go on
Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on, go on
Everybody burps. You are not alone