Once upon a time, there was a little, fat jerk
Who lived down my street in Howdyville, Texas
At fifteen, he was spotted selling water-soluble condoms to Boy Scouts
And his big, fat jerk career took off...

You big, fat jerk

You big, fat jerk (what a churl)
Jerk you are (makes me hurl)
Drive your car, on a runway
Jerk (Super Butthole)
A big, fat jerk you are (of the world)
Wet your nads and make love to a floor lamp

Jerk (germs to the left)
Jerk (now germs to the right)
Jerk (you fink, you stink)
Jerk (germs to the left)
Jerk (now germs to the right)
Jerk (you stupe, you're poop)

It don't matter what you wear
(It don't matter what you wear)
They're checkin' out your nasal hair
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-yeah)
And it don't matter what you do
Stray dogs will wanna hump on you

Super Butthole

Jerk (what a churl)
Jerk you are (makes me hurl)
Pitch a tent, on the expressway
Jerk (Super Butthole)
A big, fat jerk you are (of the world)
Baste your tongue and french-kiss a gorilla

Jerk (zits to the left)
Jerk (now zits to the right)
Jerk (so crass, fat ass)
Jerk (zits to the left)
Jerk (now zits to the right)
Jerk (sound brass, pass gas)

I sniff your odor everywhere
(I sniff your odor everywhere)
You smell like Hitler's derriere
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-yeah)
And when you walk out of a zoo
You've got every critter's poop on you

Super Butthole

Ralph Malph (jerk), Butch (Bullies 'R' Us)
Flash (Peter Parker better hide)
Boner (what a tool), Scut Farkus (ruinin' Christmas)
Haskell (work the Cleavers, Eddie)

I have one thing to note
Eat oats, blow goats, eat oats, blow goats
Blow goats, blow goats, blow goats

I have one thing to note
Eat oats, blow goats, eat oats, blow goats
Blow goats, blow goats, blow goats
Whooo

It don't matter what you wear
(It don't matter what you wear)
They're wishin' you were over there
(Ooh-ooh-ooh-yeah)
And it don't matter what you do
Cause flies will always live on you

Super Butthole

Jerk (what a churl)
Jerk you are (makes me hurl)
Take a dip, on a spillway
Jerk (Super Butthole)
A big, fat jerk you are (of the world)
Wear a dress and play leapfrog in prison

Jerk (drool to the left)
Jerk (now drool to the right)
Jerk (you crumb, you're dumb)
Jerk (drool to the left)
Jerk (now drool to the right)
Jerk (you mook, you're puke)

You big, fat jerk, jerk, jerk
Super Butthole
You big, fat jerk, jerk, jerk

I have one thing to say...you big, fat jerk.