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Song Parodies -> "Baby Can't Rap"

Original Song Title:

"Baby Got Back"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Sir Mix-A-Lot

Parody Song Title:

"Baby Can't Rap"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

This is a edit of a song from '05. The pacing was loose, and the rhymes were just all around bad, or didn't make sense. So I fixed this up, so I can be happy with it and add it to the Epic 40 list.
[Spoken]
Ho-ly sh*t Becky!
Look at that nut!
He’s such a pig!
He looks just like a deathly pale vampire
Dude, I don’t know he even stays hired
No groupies flock to him
Cause he’s wearing a busniess suit, duh!
I mean this nut
Is just so dumb
I can’t believe he’s still around
And he’s up there
I mean… gross
Dude!
He’s just so… White!!!

[Rapped]
I don't do drugs, nope that’s no lie
Mocked by all the rappers who get high

I guess to the hood life I’m real huge disgrace
With acne smothering my face

They’re all stunned, since I don’t own a gun
And I’ve never ever been handcuffed

But I’m up on stage not swearing
I'm booked with the speakers blaring

”Yeah, baby I have I own fan club
Get in my hot tub”

My fanbase hates and scorns me
Cause this rap I gots so freaking corny

Ooh, drums and some talking
Cause that’s all rap music is

Refuse me? Lose me!
Barmizhas all persue me

Made hits with Hanson
I still lack that mansion
In debt, sweat
Lyrics I always forget

The only magazine
That ever featured me
Was an interview about fuzzy bathroom mats
People always ask who’s that?

So parents (Yeah!) parents (Yeah!)
Are your kids sick of clowns and stuff? (Hell Yeah!)
Well then just call me (Call you?) Call me! (Call you?)
Birthday Party strut!
Baby Can't Rap!!!

(A white face, with a ghetto hoodie)
Baby Can't Rap!
(A white face, with a ghetto hoodie)

I think I found a gig!
Rap and Irish jig!
At Octoberfest I’m a drunken rapping imbecil
The check I'll handle

Drive my Pinto home
And sleep, wake up and work, work
Radio Shack I'll deploy
My microphone parts have got destroyed

My concerts aren’t that shiek or fancy
Cause there ain’t no fancy attics
My raps are quite climatic
Till the mic starts spewing static

Make own music videos
No cash for hot hoes or even clothes
Thus MTV jokes
”Next to K-Fed he’s a Rap Pro”

A word to the concert critics
I wanna impress ya
No cuss to distress ya
I want to move straight right onto the *gasp*
Billboard Record Charts

My rap music is my art
A lot of guys won't like my songs
They like punk like Green Day and Offspring
But I like Dr. Dre
But my songs are so long
With “Fitzgerald” they have won

So groupies (*crickets*), Groupies? (*crickets*)
At Cedar Point on I’m on stage with Snoopy
Not profound, I’m devout
Can’t make these famlies shout
Baby Can't Rap!!!

Baby Can't Rap!!!

[Spoken]
Yeah baby…
When it comes to concert halls
I ain’t got nothing to do with my selection
County Fairs?
Beach Resorts?
Bars for Hicks… Yeh… I’ll be there till three

[Rapped]
So you like country or opera?
Well… Abracadbra!
Stole lyrics from Johnny Cash and french Operas

Open for Abba and most anyone
Car payments aren’t yet done
Call me days, nights and weekends
Cause I need to make bucks!

Some call Will Smith a sell out
And say he does it all for gold
But if Will Smith can achieve it
I’m gonna take and retrive it

You call my rap rhymes trash
But at least it makes me cash
My paycheck ain’t small, but I’m always spendin’
On merchaindise for street vendin’

All the Popstar babes in them magazines
Know how to cha-ching
And I’m a mister who’s no stickler
Cause I'm selling bumper stickers

So look me up down in Vegas
On the sidewalks I’ll exist
Might be lame, but it makes me money
Cause folks think that it’s funny

At parties bring me around
If Reel Big Fish is never found
Dial 1-800-RAPFORBUX
I'll get there in my truck

Baby Can't Rap!!!
Baby Can't Rap!!!

(Great on the fiddle, but not much at rap)
(Great on the fiddle, but not much at rap)
(Great on the fiddle, but not much at rap)
(Great on the fiddle, but not much at rap)

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 24

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 1
 
 3   1
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   22
 23
 22
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
I've still got to overpower this monster of as OS for a challenge, Matty....so big props for doing such a brill job on it. 555
Matthias - January 30, 2008 - Report this comment
"”Yeah, baby I have I own fan club" should be "Yeah, baby I have my own fan club"...
Matthias - January 31, 2008 - Report this comment
Side-note: Cedar Point is an amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio. I'm sure most people in the states know about it, but overseas you may not. Here's some information on it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cedar_Point
The Charnstar - February 01, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I actually tried to read this the other day, but I didn't have Baby Got Back on me so I just skimmed through it... Then listening to it on YouTube just then... I think I found my number 1 vote... I would LOVE to hear this recorded! 5-5-5
Jason - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I thought this was pretty good. Fits in well with the OS. 555
Peter Andersson - February 08, 2008 - Report this comment
And another SOTM round is off to a fine start... :-)
Agrimorfee - February 11, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Wow! You know something, Luke Brattoni's got the creative wordage skills, but Pacemaster Matthias is the atom bomb. Word.
Max Power - February 12, 2008 - Report this comment
Great
Guy - February 18, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM-JAN) You've re-wrapped this one up quite nicely. I have yet to do a rap parody and I can appreciate the writing here.
Michael McVey - February 19, 2008 - Report this comment
Well, Doggy Likes His Pot, but you don't. Great satire!
bobpiecheese - February 27, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Great work on making fun of the common rapper stereotypes, and doing it to such a biatch of an OS gets 555 from me.
wannabemustangjockey - February 28, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I've yet to attempt a rap song parody. Looks like this was a nightmare to do but you did a good job!
Jeff Reuben - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
I don't think I saw this the first time around, I think I would have remembered it. Awesome job, loved the sub with Hansen! And TMOGLTM
Phil Alexander - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Very creditable.. but it's very hard to keep something this long interesting - I was finding it hard work by the end (a bit like the OS, to be honest)
Kristof Robertson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I'm STILL trying to make something half decent out of this OS, so big props for doing such a sterling job with it....and thematically, you've tackled one of my faves as well; rap is a genre I can't begin to understand. 555
Below Average Dave - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The second half of the song's pacing lost me, you seemed to miss or add a line in the second rap part. . .and after two go throughs, I was still lost. . .funny--and intriguing, difficult OS to take on. . .very Nuclear Bubble Wrap "Can't Rap" for me. . .I like self depreciation, and it's a good parody, I could get technical but that'd be unfair because overall this is a pretty good parody.
Jack Wilson - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
This was HILARIOUS! 5s
Invisible Boy - February 29, 2008 - Report this comment
Big 5s for the effort Matty. I'm not so concerned with exact syllable matching on a friggin rap song. I don't think the original "artist" could sing it the same way twice. Funny, self-effacing effort, as usual.

P.S. I HAVE been to Cedar Point.
Agrimorfee - March 14, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above...
Guy - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC5B)

Still a great rap - see comment above.
Jason - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC B) See my SOTM comment
Glen S - March 15, 2009 - Report this comment
It's a stretch using the theme you used. And that's a criticism of your end goal, not how well you achieved it. I'm not crazy about what you were trying to achieve, but I respect your technical skills in achieving it. :cp
Max Power - March 19, 2009 - Report this comment
See above
Invisible Boy - March 23, 2009 - Report this comment
This one's still "white on"
Below Average Dave - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
See Above--still have trouble in the second half of the song's pacing.
Red Ant - March 26, 2009 - Report this comment
It's like B-rad from MMW tries a rap song... and suceeds. The rhymes and scansion were right on for me, as well as the humor. 555
Stuart McArthur - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) saved this for last Matty, because I recall the discussion over how hard this OS must be to do - giant applause for taking it on, and the main challenge you set yourself here is the pacing, which you handled beautifully - I also liked the groupies/Snoopy rhyme - great job on such a tough OS - 555
Melanie Lee - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Good stuff! Good laughs! I think a little rough on pacing here and there, but heck, it's rap, so I can't tell! 5-5-5!
Jeff Reuben - March 27, 2009 - Report this comment
(ABC) Good song, see above, I still love it!
Cherokee Septic - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Simply want to say your article is as surprising. The clearness in your post is simply great and i can assume you are an expert on this subject. Fine with your permission let me to grab your RSS feed to keep up to date with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the rewarding work. Cherokee Septic

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