I want to finish all the rest,
that ev'ryone always does.
To let it out is my real test,
to survive it is my cause.
I will travel to Mart-Land,
employees are my guide.
These laxatives, I understand,
the power that's inside.
Constipation! Gotta wipe it all (it's you and me),
I know it's our destiny!
Constipation! Ooh, yeah in the end,
you'll come out of my end.
Constipation! Gotta wipe it all (I cannot poo),
Our courage will pull us through.
Don't make-my-hands go to-get-you!
Constipation! Gotta wipe them all! Gotta wipe them all...
Yeah...
(waddles out of bathroom to get guitar, comes back)
Every challenge, along the way,
with courage in that case,
I will win them, all the same,
without a purple face.
Please fall out,
it's almost night,
and it kind of seems,
soon enough, I'll win the fight,
with some help from ass cream.

Chorus

Constipation! Gotta wipe it all!
Constipation!