A castigation of all the awful seats worldwide, like
Like mine, hate, hate, hate

I remember when I used to sit
Upon my bottom and it was soothin'
But now all I have is the uselessness
Of my current chair, it's not a comfy seat
Pain in the ass, though I hear you all
Start to complain
"Why not replace it?" I just don't have the cash
Have not for years, so lame, it's my poor cheeks that have to pay

No cushion, oh my
No cushion, oh my, hate, hate, hate
It's so very bitter upon my rear
No cushion, oh my, hate, hate, hate

I remember when my back was not so
Hunched over like my name was Quasi
My chair's destroyed me, can't kill with fire, I
Still need the thing to sit down, right
Don't tell me to lie on the floor
The hard wood there hurts too, dude
My bed is slowly killin' me
Got no cash for a beanbag, see, chair's all I have, buddy

This damn thing is gonna kill my spine
This stupid thing is painful on my hide
Savin' up but it will take time
I hate this thing, can't toss it outright
This damn thing is gonna wreck my spine
This stupid thing does bad things to my hide
A new one will come in due time
But for the moment I'll gasp in pain like
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah (yeah, yeah)
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah

No cushion, oh my
No cushion, oh my
Keep pickin' splinters out of my rear
No cushion, oh my, hate, hate, hate

I remember when I used to sit
Upon my bottom and it was Plush Town
But now all I have is a pile of pills
For the constant pain down there thanks to this seat
Pain in the ass, no way to sit on
Without the strain, mate
This thing's so sturdy, you'd think I would be glad
"Pain lasts for years", I say, man

No cushion, oh my
No cushion, oh my, hate, hate, hate
Back pain, not bigger than my poor rear
No cushion, oh my, my battered cheeks cry ev'ry day
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah
Oh, ah, oh-ah