Kidnap Mr. Donald Trump?
Bet we could do it. He’s a chump!
We just have to work together
Three of a kind! Birds of a feather!
Now and forever

La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la
La-la-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la-la

Kidnap the Donald Trump
Put him on a ship
Sail him ‘cross the seven seas
To the Gaza Strip

He said he could fix it up
Can you believe this guy?
Leave him there all by himself
We’d love to watch him try!

First we just need to disguise
Ourselves as Putin, that’d be wise
When Donald starts butt-kissing
We’ll take off our trench coat, big surprise!

Wait, I’ve got a better plan
To catch this big, bad orange man
Let’s pop an apple in his mouth
While hula dancers hogtie him up!

Kidnap the man called Trump, give him quite the scare
If he wants Greenland, then we should take him there

Then Mr. Musk and Mr, Vance
Will find that we’ve misplaced their pants!
They’ll look so silly, I declare
When C-SPAN shows them bare!

I say that we turn him into
Florida’s best known export
Orange juice, twelve times as pulpy
Then we’ll sell him by the quart!

You’re so stupid, think now
That won’t be good, quite the reverse
If Trump is gone, they’ll swear in Vance
And things will then get so much worse!

Kidnap the Donald Trump, cross the Rio Grande
Sheinbaum will know what to do; she’ll give us a hand!

Because the US government is panicking right now
If I were on the cutting list, I would have a cow

And if our plot is a success
The public will adore us, yes
Like Mangione, we’ll find fame
Each one a household name

Oogie Boogie’s dead now so we’ve moved to bigger stuff
Your ordinary kidnap job is simply not enough!

I wish my cohorts weren’t so dumb

Well, we’ve gotten smarter. (At least one!)

Shut up! Make me!

I've got something, listen up
This is the greatest plan, bar none
We'll find the “football” suitcase
And then swap it with another one
The second case has us within
And when Trump gets the urge to go
And nuke Iran, he’ll look inside
And we will grab him! What a win!

Kidnap the Donald Trump, take his fries away
Put him on a diet and then he’ll cry all day

Kidnap the man called Trump, grab him at his worst
If he wants to go to Mars, he should be the first!